Ivy: crusher extraordinaire

to make me sound sad

2008-06-15T12:38:00.003+12:00

I wish David would read my message and reply.
It makes me sad but I've somehow convinced myself that this boy who looks twelve is the greatest thing in the world.
I feel so dumb. I mean he only plays bass (btw whats it with me and bassists?)
If anything Dan should mean my world since his lyrics are so awesome. But its not.

If you dont know what I'm talking about...This Providence. They are basically the bees knees in my eyes.
I am a giant Teenie right now and it makes me sick.
But you dont understand that I haven't felt this way while listening to an album in a long time. If I still used a cd player they would never leave the cd player.
And since I'm dirt poor and can only afford a shuffle I cant really be assed going back and playing them...I still do though I go back and play them on repeat all day.
I dance around and sing to them when no one is home.
I also plan on cleaning while listening to them.
I don't even know if the lyrics can relate to me. All I know is that the melody picks me up and I dont feel so stressed.

I make myself sick.
Anymore of this feeling and they're going to kick Boys like Girls off my top 25 most played list on itunes (btw I dont even know how that happened. shuffle plays them like that I swear i am totes over that song) and they're also going to kick TAI back a notch on my top friends list on myspace. And I LOVE TAI. They've already kicked Panic off and I love panic.
Dave Melillo never leaves the top friends list. I love him more than Cute is does.

yes I am a nerd when it comes to my bands.
Call me what you want/
but I pretty much Love This Prov. And I am going to buy their other album once I have money or decide that I dont hate RealGroovy wellington.
Because right now I do. They are SLACK
just saying.

Oh
This Prov.

So the past few days

2008-06-03T16:22:00.002+12:00

have been hectic. I started drawing my new comic. Its nothing fancy. Just a three panel well two panels really. I've done the first and am starting on the second. Its about a dinosaur and the strip is called The Dino. I'm thinking I'm going to change it to Rwwr and Cheep once I introduce Cheep into the story.
The strips are pointless. There's no plot. But yeah.

I got new underwear today. I got a pair of panties and two camisoles. One of them match my panties.
Its awesome I'll get a matching pair for the other one.

We redecorated the flat yesterday. It looks delicious now.
Pictures when I get them.

And Teddy Geiger walked in front of us on the way home. I only noticed him from his pretty hair.
Speaking of hair I'm thinking I'm going to get a bob when I go home. I need a haircut badly

Keep taking baby steps

2008-05-20T18:51:00.004+12:00

And here's the best part
It's got the best start
No one saw this coming from a mile away
So unexpected, I know you meant it
If I can't have you I'll dream about you
So I'll be sleeping because this dreaming
Is as close as I can get to getting close to you
So close my eyes, don't wake me up
Keep taking baby steps

Ivy hearts October Fall
A lot.

So I spent seventy dollars on underwear the other day. Then I got buyers remorse because NO ONE needs to spend that much on underwear. At least it was like one bra, two pair of undiewears and some tights. Some bright pink tights.

I loved it.

Do I want to ask Teddy for his number?
Do I really want McDonald's boy to be texting me still? Its been six months...I think I might be over it but is he? I mean I feel nothing for this kid.

Panic at the disco tickets are booked.
Not preordering the Ciwwaffles album since shipping is too expensive (yeah fbr cheat me out why dont you)
Sha got our merch we ordered in MARCH
I need to email someone at FBR about my order since Jen won't reply to me. Its ridiculous.

Why do boys suck so bad? Someone please explain.
Maybe I should become a lesbian.
Home soon. Exams are closer.
I've handed one of two assignments. I should really start on the second right? Right.
I took new pictures.
I need a haircut.

Its ICE BAT I love my uglydolls

Here to catch you up on me

2008-05-15T16:25:00.003+12:00

How did your day start off?
Waking up at 6.30am. Crying in intense pain from this weird pain in my lower right abdominal

When's the next time you will see the person who absolutely takes your breath away?
Tomorrow night. Teddy at midnight expresso. In his tight pants- but not too tight...*sigh*

Are you waiting for something?
Not today at least

Last text message you received?
Umm...something from Sam...about still being in an appointment

Last myspace message you received?
Sha?

Does anyone hate you?
Probably.

Where are your siblings?
At home. With my mommy

Are you happy with life?
It could be better

Have you ever read an entire book in one day?
Yeah...it was 15 pages

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
Depends on the situation

Are you a jealous person?
...depends

If you could have one person with you right now, who would it be?
...Teddy? Brendon? Bestfriend Sha?

Do you miss anyone?
Yes. My ho's in Auckland

Do you get 8 hours of sleep everyday?
Yeah...basically

Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?
No, I don't hate Jake

Is there anyone who understands your relationship status?
Sha, we are always in this situation

Is there something you always wear?
my claddagh ring, my eyeliner and glasses

Have you ever thought about converting your religion?
yes..."orthodox jew?"

What are you going to do after this?
lie down

How's the weather today?
nice. A little chilly

What time is it?
4.38pm

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?
hopefully

When's the next time you'll see your closest friends?
June 25

What were you doing this morning at 7am?
crying in pain

What radio station do you listen to the most?
nothing

What are you listening to?
Malcolm in the middle.

Who were the last 3 people to text you?
Sam...Siobhan and Sha

Is there anything that you are craving right now?
no

Have you ever been arrested?
No

What do you need to be doing right now?
a lot

Who do you hate?
I think everyone knows who I hate.
That person and Chris. He's a pain.

What do you wear to bed?
PJs.

Has anyone got on your nerves lately?
Yeah a lot of people. Alia.

Do you think you'll be married in 10 years?
Hopefully.

What were you doing at 6 pm Saturday night?
I really can't remember

Do you know anyone with the same name as you?
...no not at all.

Has it really been that long?

2008-05-15T00:14:00.002+12:00

Oh man its been agggeess since my last post. TBH I forgot this thing even existed till a "brad" commented here.
In fact I kinda just thought this was a link from my lj to something else.

Let's see whats new with me...
I'm in uni. I'm in lust with this boy who works at a coffee store. No longer in love with Mat. Emile was nothing but a phase I went through because he represented home to me.
There thats it.
Tonight I pined for Teddy Geiger. That 'teddy' is so cute. Going to see him on Friday.

you can currently spot me at Massey Wellington campus.
And I'm also breaking away from wellington to go see patd. Tai. CS in august. Fuck yeah.
My stomach hurts.
I'm sleeping it off now

BDO

2007-01-22T16:49:00.000+13:00

Yes I had the time of my life.
And the staff at Sounds knows it.
Thanks.
Nikki is the bestest for letting me in and letting me meet MCR
Steve Cadman...you daughter can choke on an extension and a bottle of peroxide.
It was definately worth the three hour wait.
HOWEVER
Mikey sweetie, dollface you need to cheer up a little.
Frankie it would've been nice to have you there
Ray, Bob, Gee you kids are sweethearts.

BDO 2007
Best year of my life ever.

Survivor: It takes a brain to be one

2006-12-27T12:33:00.000+13:00

Todays mood: Very lethargic with a taste of chaos.
Needed: Much sleep and rest
Remedy: Go home early from work
Reasoning: Over staffed for the day
Decided: Much rest will cure the aches and pains.
Cretivity levels: Low as ever
Remedy: Sleep. Reading. Writing.
Slumps: To disappear

its been a summer

2006-12-19T22:04:00.000+13:00

OMG its been a while. Thought I might sit down and actually write a blog for once. Instead of just stringing words together to look like I blog.

Here's how it goes:

My grandmother will be coming here to live with us a for a few months soon. Vacation.
VACATION FROM WHAT EXACTLY?!
She lives in fucking communist vietnam where she doesnt work. I guess not working for a living sure does make you tired. I mean I wouldnt know. I've been doing 48 hour weeks lately. Sick at that.
Urgh I dislike the woman to say the least.
She gets on everyone's case.
"You go out too much"
Ok...Its my frist time going out and its not like there's much to do in the fucking countryside in fucking communist vietnam
"Dont talk to your mother like that"
Dude I talk to my mother how she talks to me. With sass. Funny sass. And Crude language. Where do you think I got my potty mouth from? My father? Mr Military? I dont think so.
Not to say my dad isnt a potty mouth either. He's just more controlled than my mother and he's not exactly American Dad. He's more..."Fuck you. I'm an exwanted communist criminal. In YO FACE!" dad.
So yes she's gonna be here. We're talking months here. Not weeks. MONTHS
So does anyone wanna share their bed with me? I hear I'm a lovely bed share-er
Back to my point yes.
My grandmother + living her with me = quick suicide.

Christmas

Is way to commercial for me.
Plus I'm a buddhist we dont do christmas.
Foreign concept.
Its gonna be dinner. At home. With the family. Hopefully.
No presents.
We usually have a tree but since we moved last year we didnt bring the tree with us.
Christmas is a crock anyway.
I mean seriously.
If a fat guy came down my chimney I would probably poke him with one of those rods for the fire place.

Work

Working with like a day or two if I'm lucky off.
Luckily I'm not Bryan. Kid is working at Sounds and at ECM. 7 Days.
Suck.
But that's heaps of money.
I actually enjoy the christmas rush.
Seriously.
I wish I was kidding but I'm not.
Yeah...freak.
Its more fast pace then the usual slow sunday mornings or slow friday nights.

Money

I've been living off loose change for the past week. Thank GOD I have all this money coming my way from working for the past two weeks. I did the math. It seems I might have quite a bit of money. Macbook pro fund. Fuck yeah.
Urgh and I'm gonna get that bear from Pumpkin patch. I'll see if I can find a picture...ok SCREW YOU PUMPKIN PATCH.
They dont have a picture of it.
Actually... I might get me a camera. I need a new one. Sahweet

I think thats enough right?
Oh I've written a new story. But now its on hiatus. I think I'm gonna focus on stories I've lacked focus on...Oh thank you take the lead for restoring my creativity for one of my stories. Catillion and all.
Mmm Antonio Banderas. Sexy accent.

Ivyshortcake Over and out

bunny

2006-12-05T17:03:00.000+13:00

I want a bunny.
Someone buy me a bunny.
Please.
I'll be good.
I'll feed it.
Bathe it.
Cuddle it.
Take it for walks.
But you have to get me a bunny.
For Christmas.
Love.

Ivyshortcake

I'll be there when your heart stops beating

2006-11-21T11:58:00.000+13:00

11.19.2006
So, as most of you know we have been on the nothing rhymes with circus tour for about a week now. This tour has come together so beautifully and is exactly what we had hoped for. Walking on stage each night and seeing everyone in the crowds eyes light up, and every ones mouths singing all thewords is beyond description. We would like to thank every person who has come to any the shows so far. We hope you had as much fun as we did. And to all the people who will be seeing us in the near future, we can not wait for you to see the show we have put together.
PORNOMIME
- spencer

Dear Mr. Smith.
Every time I hear the word pornomime I think of two things:
1. You boys need to get laid if every time is porno time.
and
2. You guys are watching mimes do it?
That is disgusting. Filthy sick disgustingly icky and eww it would quiet. Very silent. And trapped in a box.
Very trapped in a box. And invisible one.

I would pay to go see this if I didnt have exams and had money.
Christmas is coming up. Ivy wants a hoodie.
Mainly that hoodie that I posted before my birthday or you know one of the Cute ones. I hear their spiffy like ass.

I need to study but I'm starting at twelve on the dot because thats one of my ocds at the moment.
On the plus side my hair pulling OCD has slowed down and I may still have hair when I turn 34.
currently listening to...Silence ok maybe the hum of the laptop and the builders machines.
Still....waiting for my Boxset to arrive. Come on NZpost. Just this once deliver it for me.

You cant spell Deliver with out the devil and you cant spell Deliver without the liver.
Say whaaa?

There are new P!ATD shirts instore when you buy the album. Kids if you dont have the album go buy it. AND if you do...go but it again and get a shirt.
Sha and I have come to the conclusion that if I let her be the bigger P!ATD fan I can be the biggest Cute fan in NZ. Though personally the girl didnt know about Soc...so BOO to her. You cant be a fan if you dont know the stalkerish facts my dear...ok that was just weird.
But yes. Any bitch in NZ who thinks they are the bigger Cute fan...I dear them to duel me. I feel that there are only two bands that I will ever feel in love with 100000% and that is Fall Out Boy and Cute Is What We Aim For. The reason is because I remember watching channel 4 when it was Channel 4 and not this c4 crap and hearing Where is your boy tonight. It stayed in my head for a week till I downloaded it. And everytime my computer crashed and I forgot the song I would find myself humming it or singing it till I redownloaded the song and got it on disc. And I discovered this band on my own. As with Cute though dont ask me how I discovered them because I dont remember. But I know that I was there. The purevolumes the hiphop at Ihops the Crushes and the I dont care if its the mooon we wents. I was there. I mean with panic! Vinnie asked me to download them because they didnt work for him. They did for me and I downloaded them and sent them to him. So I didnt really 'discover' them on my own.
Vinnie was there.
The Academy, Gym Class Heroes and all the other bands I love, I mean whose to say I dont love them the same but Fall Out Boy and Cute Is What We Aim For will always stand out to me. Because I found them before the rest of the country did.

And that makes me an elitest. But I dont care.
Because that is how I roll.
I roll with the elitest.
Because at times.
I am a bitch.
And it is now twelve.
And I shall study for my English exam tomorrow.

-That. Ivyshortcake
-No that one.
-The other one
-The artist formally known as Ivysaurr formally known as Ivyspoon formally known as Ritalin_kidd formally known as Ivy

Exams

2006-11-18T15:47:00.000+13:00

So exams are ere on wendesday for me.
WOOO
I wont be online much starting monday. Monday means hardcore study time. This week I've been doing essays. I've dont two for geo, one for both english and history. So I need to stufy. I will give math and history my undivided attention next weekend. From Friday till i dont work. And monday.
Right now I focus on English and geo.
Woo.

Oh Anyone up for an after exam trip? I wanna head into town. maybe thrusday or Friday. I'll get the girls together.

P.s Christmas fever has come early. Someone get me the Armor For Sleep shirt. You know the plain black one with Armor on it and then wings n the back...and any armor cds they dont want,
Hook me up. I've been good this year.
I asked sean to get my GH. LOLZIES
Said i ggive him enough porn now give me something back.

Reading: Diary.
Listening: Tropical London - Rancid.
(OMG poss. Tour here. *DIES* yeah I'm skipping school if it does)
Itchy: ear. Like itchy and sore.
watched: The untold stewie blah blah blah movie. LOLZIES
Playing: Donkey Kong Two

Come on peeps. Armor tee please...I should really visit that store in Glen Eden. I will. As soon as I have money

is blown away

2006-11-14T15:04:00.000+13:00

HOLY FUCK! Ok there's that string quartet panic thing floating around. MY GOD am I amazed. It sounds good. OH Classical shit PWNS right now...it gets creepy but is still good...i cant seriously I am just in awe right now. And I know it doesnt take much to get me to go "holy crap sticks mother fucker!" but this is seriously the best shit ever. I'm singing along and it fits perfectly. Go string quartet.

forizzle give it a try

Snakes on a plane score

2006-11-11T21:17:00.000+13:00

Scares the living shit out of me. I swear to god I shit myself everytime I hear that thing. So yes Note to self: never ever play the soundtrack when you're asleep on repeat. You will wake up at three am and hear this scariness. Crap yourself at three in the morn.

So is it bad I havent blogged in ages but I have nothing to say? wait yes I do.
Ok so i have a key to the store now go me!
MCR at BDo fuck yes
Killers? yes
Trivium? no
Tool? no thanks

Parachute posters? I love the add on horns I wonder what silly Spoon did that?

Leaked FOB song? Not so bad...I love the ice-cream line.

Working january 19th not at tent? Over my dead body
Hiring hot emo boy for the store? oh please please please please I swear I've been good this year.

Poss Rancid cd next year? OMG OMG YESSPLZZZ

Box set getting shipped to me? ilyFBR

2006-10-22T16:06:00.000+13:00

I feel as though I'm losing touch with everyone I was once close with. That eventually the ties that bind will be loosen till the extent that when we pass each other its a flick of the head or the wink of an eye. I never want to be one of those people with the people I thought knew me. Time together is hardly anything but an hour at the most.

I want a boy who makes me smile. Sadly that is limited. Anti-social ways will eventually kill me and what's left of me will be nothing but a shell of what I was.
I want someone to make me laugh. I want someon who'll listen to My Chemical Romance and not tell me they're al "fags" and tell me that William Beckett is not a girl. Someone who'll laugh at the aspects of Slash with me but not find completely immoral. Someone who shares the same views as me on every prospect. Maybe differ on ones that will put up a debate between us.

I wish I loved you like I did yesterday.

I wish I loved you to begin with.

The year is nearly over. Bring on a boy with a challenge. Bring on a boy with a fighting chance.

Call me naivety. Brand me stupid. Label me Love. Mark me with your kiss

2006-10-11T20:47:00.000+13:00

I'm on my own
I'm left without
This broken heart
the worse I've felt
no one can see
the hate and greed
inside your heart
they'd rather choose to believe
that you're so sweet.
That you're so good.
That I'm the foe
and I'm the fool

They say you're cute
your egos deep
your self esteem however
slowly steeps
its just not there
the spark is gone
the love you had
is all forlorn
and now its dead.
Your heart still beats
its slower now
and you choose to speak

your hearts broken
but what would I know
yyou claim to smile
but that was all a show
just take a breath
and one small step
inhale deep and dont look back

you're on your own
you're left without
you've broken hearts
with a cloud of self doubt

the harshness stains
her brain and heart
her eyes have seen
her world fall
apart.
He does not care
he shrugs and turns
her drained out life
crossed his heart and burns.

Its strange the feeling you get when you open your ringbinder and find poetry you wrote at the beginning of the year. You realise how much you've grown and how stupid you were at the time. How your imagination can run wild when your mind is still so young. Call me naivety. brand me stupid. Label me Love. Mark me with your kiss.
Leave me alone. And let it sink in.

Ivyspoon it| you know you want to|

2006-10-08T19:50:00.000+13:00

Ivyspoon it| you know you want to|

uh...taste of chaos. Is awesome. well I saw one band. I could go back I just choose not to. Moer podcast later? You people must be so sick of hearing my voice...dont worry i do all the time.
Hmmm ok maybe if I'm not so lazy i'll actually type it but i find concerts are so much more fun podcasting because well...i get to show my excitement that i feel !!! doesnt quite comprehend. Maybe I'll post some new poetry when I get home.

himynameismark eatyourheartout

2006-10-05T10:42:00.000+13:00

http://www.sendspace.com/file/x93lx8

I sound like a fuckface. If it doesnt play normally download audacity.

habgfwgPANIC!

2006-10-03T11:15:00.000+13:00

Ok so I thought when I got home I'd surprise you lurkers with a podcast about the show. And I'll do that when I get home. We have like 7 minutes left on the friggen net cafe. PODCAST PODCAST PODCAST you fucking love my voice. You know it. I'm fucking sexy phone sex

I'm better then Heychris i just dont know it yet

2006-09-29T11:46:00.000+12:00

http://www.sendspace.com/file/9lbmp7

...

2006-09-28T18:14:00.000+12:00

I'M INTERVIEWING ANTI-FLAG?
FOR FUCKING REALS?
NO FUCKING WAY
YES FUCKING WAY!
OMG!
I LOVE SHA...i wish she was going with though...me interview people? I have a speech impediment...boys in bands make me st-st-stutter

Lets go to the prom| And dance| and dance| and dance| and dance

2006-09-27T18:22:00.000+12:00

I went to the doctors and he asked me if I was sexually active...I've never fucking met the guy and he asks me that. Rude! very awkward and Rude! And not in the Rudeboy sense either. So anyways he said nothing was wrong with me and gave me antibiotics. That doctor sucks ass let me tell you.

So the P!ATD show is monday and yes. I am renting a room at the Carlton with Sha and her friends. I dont care where I sleep...I'll be fine just give me a pillow. I'll fucking crash on Panic!s floor's hallway if i have too. No i'll be fine. As long as the room has a bathtub I should be good. I've slept in a bathtub before. Nothing wrong with doing it again...oh and I did the sleeping thing on my own free will. No booze was involved at all. See...Sean was right...i dont need alcohol...I would probably dance on tables for fun. I'm a weird child yes I know.

TOC I dont know if I can go or not. Shitty planning on their behalf. The show starts at five. And well I have an exam the next day. So I dont know if I can make it. Hopes sha gets me with her into Anti-Flag's press thingy cause I LOVE THEM! I can live without seeing TBS I think...I dont know...ok thats all i really had to say. I just needed to get this out of me:
FUCKING PANIC AT THE FUCKING DISCO BITCHES!

Its been a summer

2006-09-24T20:38:00.000+12:00

Well ok not really. I thought I'd just pop in and make a note.
its the holidays and I need to study for practice exams. Panic is next monday after that its TOC...I need a place to stay for Panic so anyone? Or else I'll be taxiing home can you imagine that bill?
So I dont know where I ended this...There's this boy on my bus. I wont be seeing him much anymore but yeah. His name is Ben. I call him Hairboy. Have I mentioned hairboy? Hairboy...wait yes I have mentioned this how sad am I?

Sha gets to interview Antiflag...Fuck yes! need to get the TOC ticket, make a page for both the TBS and P!ATD scrapbooks cause Sha said so and AND get the ETF EP thats a lot of money and polaroid films...I'm thinking I make one for hmmm I dunno...I have a good idea of a page but I dont know who. I mean I only have like 11 shots left on my polaroid.

More info later. Friday meet ups sha? Girly you can comment without an account so do so Bitch. You havent replied to my txts all day...wow I sound like Clingy girlfriend number 1 ewwwwww

I just need time to walk it off| but I can’t do it| I’ll write it on my own time

2006-09-13T18:59:00.000+12:00

So I know I should've done this a while ago but here's my big news.

I dont like Adam anymore

Arent you proud of me?! I'm proud of me. And I'm pleased with myself. I learnt that there's no pushing things like this. That you have to leave it to run its course...obviously Adam's course wasnt that long...how long has it been? A while huh?

So here's how it happened *does hand wavy motion*
Flashback bitches
Ivy came to school. Saw Adam. Adam had cut his hair. Ivy went Ew. Emotions flew out the door

The end. That makes me shallow doesnt it? Well I'd rather be shallow then lusting over some girl's boyfriend. End of story.

Oh and Hairboy...you know the kid from the bus with the nice hair? OMG he looks hot from behind...he doesnt attract me from the front but from behind...boy that Kid is sexy...You know what it reminds me of?
That picture of Ryan Ross from behind but with black and shorter hair.
He is Skinny (hairboy and Ryan) someone feed them some food.

I hate the ones who love to hate because they're just like me

2006-09-12T20:53:00.000+12:00

OMG OMG OMG OMFG!
Ronnie Radke left Escape the fate!
Sure I never saw them in concert, sure I just got into them...it still hurts though well not hurt but I'm kinda gutted. I think Ronnie had a great voice. It reminded me of Sonny and Bert's Mixed together ina blender and poured into this guy.

I hate people. Observe:

Joran - Pookie - 4wding was Mad fun!!! says:
u single ?
[Ivyspoon] I hate the ones who love to hate because they're just like me says:
yeah...
[Ivyspoon] I hate the ones who love to hate because they're just like me says:
in all honesty though...who the hell asks someone they just met online through a random add that? What if I was 7?

WHO THE FUCK ASKS SOMEONE THAT?! Fucking Loser.

Havent blogged in a while. Cant find bluetooth disc...kinda sad about Ronnie...yeah loser ivy
Geo trip this week. English internal this week...thats it really
I feel kinda sick...apparently those texas pork riblets from countdown are for people in countries without real meat...sailors are hot...Bada should change his last name into chicken and thats it really.

I have inspiraSHUN to right.
Sha interviewed Urieface its on the Panic!LJ

Ok inspiration first...I was sitting in History...had this sudden image of what Taylor looks like in my mind and it all unfolds from there...yeah its that story. So yeah I'm trying to put it on word and it's getting there. I my have an update by the end of the term...which is only a week or two away.
That's all I got. Work Thurs and Sat.

Mmmmm Chris from sounds I mean...uh nothing

All I wanted you| All I wanted you| All I wanted you, to make a move

2006-09-08T19:42:00.000+12:00

I hate it when they fight. I wish someone would take me out of my life forever. I just dont get it. They encourage each other to yell at each other and its pathetic. She always starts crying and they dont talk to each other. All the others can escape but I cant. Why? Because I'm always the one that stays at home to make sure they dont go through with their suicide threats. Grow up. You're fucking parents. If you want to get a divorce go right ahead. But I'm not living here if you do. I'll get fucking emancipated and live by myself in a cardboard box if I have to. And no one gets any peace when they fight. They fight over the dumbest things. I swear to god if I have to listen to one more fight I will go and sit in that field by myself. I dont care. I mean you would think they would set a better example.
idiots.
Urgh. Someone save me. I need a hero.

It always ends in misery. And people wonder why I am like I am. Why its so hard for me to let people in. Why I tend to have trust issues. Why I'm a pessimist. Why I'm always so down. Why the hell I feel like I need some kind of drug to keep me sane.
No one knows that for as long as I remember I've always been teased, called names and made fun of. They never get it. I'm just sick of it. I wish people would leave me alone sometimes.

Just leave me alone. I wish I were invisible. I thought I was invisible. Half the time I'm wrong.

oh and p.s. I need new glasses.
Sha dear, I cant come into town every second weekend anymore. I got new hours...can you post me my dvd? If you cant I'll work something out and come get it when I have time.

Jealousy's the cousin the cousin of OMG WHAT?!

2006-09-07T17:19:00.000+12:00

SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAA?????!!!!!!

I cant believe you get to interview BRENDON FUCKING URIE! tomorrow I need to...I'm just so...GAH lucky bitch (Iloveyou) Just...like I said...PHONE SEX HIM be like "So brendon...what you wearing?" Even if its just that one question. Say it like a pornstar too. Seriously. Love. Jealous. love. love. love.love.love.andyouaresoluckyitsnotryanorwe'dbedoomed

shit i'm working? byes!

What's it feel like to be a ghost?

2006-08-28T20:43:00.000+12:00

Seriously I had to change the song on itunes because if I were to write while "caress me down" were playing I'd crack up and this would be one dirty post. You like me dirrty we know.

Not much has happened. Except I'm taking the first step to recovery. Adam recovery.
Yup I'm gonna get over the kid. Its only right...but in all honesty...I think I was over with him ages ago...sometimes I just need someone to put all this excess feelings on...Today's saying was "Dont call Panic!Boy Panic!Boy" and I kinda said when we walked passed him. Oh how I love my life. Tomorrow we go to the health day. Oh joy.
My life is long and tedious. How bland is that?

Out of the world | she's grown so fearful of

2006-08-18T21:01:00.000+12:00

So today...Snakes on a plane...sorry that had to come out. Ummm. I'm full of assessments this week and next so slightly busy busy. Sick still. Pms was right. oh fuck I'm pathetic but here:

Nicholas was walking with Raewyn and Zara. He saw Adam and goes "Oh look its that guy...oh whats his face!" Raewyn asks him who and he goes "That guy oh umm PANIC!BOY!" Adam turns arounds and looks at him. Nicholas goes "Holy shit what did i do?!" with this 'holymotherofgodshe'sgonnakillme' look on his face.

I found that hilarious especially when Nick reenacted the look for me. I couldnt stop laughing.

I head into to town tomorrow to get my 'Ryan Ross' Jacket as I like to call it. It reminds of him and its CUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEE mom gave me the money and I'll pay her back. I hope I have enough and enough for the new Ap too...Sha should give me a discount...word.

Uh...life's actually boring. I'm considering which unis to go to. I might give up on trying overseas since its hard to get application forms. I've narrowed it down to Massey but I dont know if they do poli sci, they have mads journalism though. Canterbury has poli sci but not so sure on journalism...Auckland has all of them but I dont know...too close to home I guess...expensive rent...hard to get into. As long as I get into one I'm good. I get my trip to the states.

So apparently if I go live in chicago I'm going to get killed because dad worked for the vietnamese government back in the day. I found that slightly rediciulous and over the top. But whatevs.
I told Mon I'll live in a cardboard box with some homeless guy when I live in chicago. he wont mind. I'll keep him warm at night.
The weeks been filled with laughter but everynight has been cold. We need HEAT HEAT HEAT!
Winter ends in a few days

is Daniel Vosovic Gay? because if it is trust me to find the gay guy hot...but he is even if Nikki says his nose is weird. it is not...leave him alone.

And we're all choir boys at best intrusive and arrogant

2006-08-17T21:51:00.000+12:00

So let's recap this week:

Sean tried to give me a picture of adam...uh yeah I didnt take that. I found it creepy and if he found out I took it?! that would be hard to get out of.
ummm...Nick and I talked about Adam and somehow it ended up with me wanting Nakie pics of Adam and Nick told sean.
today me and monique were walking to our classes and we stepped out of tutor and he was behind, he being adam obviously, his tutor is right next door. Anyway so the joke is Mon smells teachers and she wants me to smell Mr. Fung and this is how it went:
Ivy: I AM NOT GOING TO SMELL HIM! THAT'S JUST WEIRD!
Monique: Just do it
I: NO! I'm not a freak!
M: yeah sure Ivy sure
I: you're so weird Mon
M: uh huh. I'll see you later
I: bye
and we split
And I'm sure Adam now thinks we're weirdos but i dont care...

Seeing Sha this week

And fuck can someone please tell me why the fuck i am so fucking emo this week? seriously! all monday, tuesday and wednesday night I've been crying over NOTHING. I cant think of one thing that would make me cry...ok Monday's yeah I get that one. but the other two days I swear to god I dont know why...I think I'm either pmsing or have a chemical imbalance which will require drugs. DRUGS DRUGS DRUGS...or a boyfriend or something to cuddle up to.

Attention: Attention: Maybe I have all your eyes and ears to the front of the room

2006-08-10T21:00:00.000+12:00

Ivy Pham: Setting scenes since 1989.

So I think may have started the new trend at school...Ribbons.
Seriously. I've been wearing ribbons in my hair for a while now. I may have a slight fetish. I dunno. But now people at school are starting to go around wearing ribbons.
Its classy yes but people are doing it wrong. So here are some pointers:

Do not wear a ribbon that is the same colour as your uniform or what you are wearing. Too much of one colour is OVERKILL
Tie the ribbon so its not too tight, this will cut off the circulation of blood to the brain, and not too loose, this causes it to fall off
Tie the ribbon in the spot where your fringe ends and becomes your hair. I know this sounds weird but basically its where the headband would go if you wore one.
Make sure the bow is tied nicely and neatly. The last thing you want is someone making fun of you for ugly bows
And FINALLY the most important thing. Do not let the bow sit too far in the middle. Side is sexy, classy, cute. The middle looks like you were tying a shoelace and instead of your shoe you tied it in your hair.

So follow those five simple easy rules to perfect ribbon tying. Believe me it'll do you good.

And the next trend: Scarves. William Beckett style but in your hair. Awesome sexy fun cute cool.

So that thing does NOTHING for my evergrowing ego. Its just horrible for it in fact.

According to Monique, Nikki, Nicholas, Durga and Ben...I look like a 12 year old...well thats just mean...

Dont ask.

Sean asked who I liked and we decided to tell him. He offered to give me photos of Adam that he has. Adam helped him with his photography by being a model. Sorry I made fun of him because he looks hilarious. Apparently he dirty talked the girls in the shoot and well...I couldnt imagine it.

Goes to show that sometimes I put people on pedestals and I get what I think of them wrong. He looks so innocent but whatever. Enough Adam talk.

But that boy sure makes me go crazy. Sean asked me why I didnt ask him out, I told him Adam had a girlfriend, sean said no. I said yes he does, Sean said no, I said since when, Sean said since two days ago. I got excited and yeah...shhh he's still going out with Gertrude.

Still a little sick. Cough sucks. But the nasal passages are being cleared.

Oh According to Sean I look like a slut...he was surprised to find out that I was a Virgin and that I've never had a serious boyfriend. He told me to find a serious boyfriend which I found weird...yeah. Monique was shocked to. I'm majorly offended by that. Just because I'm digustly dirrty doesnt mean I'm a slut. Sean is also trying to get SG sets off me, and my buzznet address. I told him to find my blog and he'll find my buzznet.

I wonder if he'll find it.

So I need to write an article on technology and do my history assessment soon. Ahhh all this work. This may mean less time online. Lots of less time online. I need to study calculus too if I want to do it next year.

Time passes by so quickly. We need to perfect our STD song we're writing together (me and Monique)

When I grow up I wanna write jingles!

So sick

2006-08-08T21:23:00.000+12:00

My throat: It aches
My head: It pounds
my nose: it drips

Hooray for being sick!

FUCK THAT SHIT I GOT GOOD NEWS!

2006-08-07T18:25:00.000+12:00

So didnt get presales. DAMN!
I didnt get GA. DAMN! FUCK!
But I got seated. They're getting sent out tomorrow. SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTt

This is better than naked chicks with ice-cream
This is P!ATD

Happy birthday Mr President

2006-08-05T20:45:00.000+12:00

I dont wanna blog about my birthday so here's something to tie you over till I can be stuffed to:
http://www.princeton.edu/~agape/images/ski2005/Tim's%20Birthday%20Cake.jpg

This is a party without the people| this is a show without the sound| so I gave you the clues now find what I found

2006-08-01T20:04:00.000+12:00

Sometimes I wonder, am I enough? Am I worthy? Is this worth it? and the answer I seem to come up with is always maybe. Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. Either way there's an answer.

Today I contemplated my feelings for Adam. I felt guilty for liking him because he has a girlfriend who I'm sure is nice and is not a Gertrude at all (Gertrude = girlfriend you dont like because she has the guy you like. Yeah GAG made that up and we're awesome and because we didnt know Alex's girlfriend's name) I mean she doesnt look bad, she looks intelligent enough. And I felt bad a little. He didnt look cute today. I saw him running in the rain yesterday...its not as bad as it sounds. Yesterday's downpour was horrible. And dad had picked me up, we were in the car when I saw him running to the bus. You know how I "run like a duck, Dont worry its cute!" yeah sure, anyways he runs just...weird. His leg's like fly out to the side and its funny. "and he sounds like Michael Jackson" that's not so bad. I can deal with that. Maybe his balls havent dropped yet.

So today the 7th formers decided they'd draw/paint pictures on their faces. Nicholas said he had a heart on his face and that made me swoon. *le sigh* everything that kid does makes me swoon. Oh great so sieze the day starts to play. You ever hear that song? It goes "sieze the day or die regretting the time you lost..." thanks. Thank you M. Shadows and Synyster Gates.
Nicola the lucky bitch is going to their show. It's too far, I mean yeah st. James I can handle, the Studio I can handle but fucking Mt Eden is too far plus the prisons there...uh a 17 year old girl at night near the jail...uh no.

So P!ATD is coming...LJEHNRGDJKZBGJKESJDLGKXBGWSeHLDKGXBVJksDNFLJEWLITHLKSHNFVSB
HJSDBXV DSBGVBCSB`XVJKSBFGJKBHWRSJKDGBVKSJCBVJSBGJKWSDJLHTGHSLDGHLSH
DVBHBDSGKSDJXVJHSKLDGNSDGNSJGHN AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Thats right I'm excited and with vodafone having a phone deal I can call anywhere in the world for 10 minutes and pay only $2. So monday morning. At 9.00 I shall be calling ticketek and I will order my tickets and catch the bus to pakuranga and get my tickets hopefully. And then catch a bus home. I have my bus card so its sweet. michelle's credit card is expired and she has to go pick it up sometime soon. Hopefully she gets it so I dont have to call them and she can. Oh yeah. Then there's Taste Of (fucking) Chaos which I still need tickets for. Hopefully I'll be getting them this weekend too. It's my birthday and if YOU REALLY LOVED ME YOU'D GET ME THAT HOODIE FROM AGES AGO Like Tom's.

Aww there have been some uber cute photos of the guys going round which is too cool. As many people there are you dont want them on MTV I'm with Cheyne when he says we're the street team and we should be helping them. I mean as long as the guys are successful and not selling out I'm good. We dont get MTV here well not till october 18 but even then I dont get it cause dad doesnt wanna get Sky. Which is fine because I dont want to be subjected to crappy vjs like on C4. Seriously there's a thing in my family. All us kids hate Joel Defries with a passion. He's not funny, he cant present and he sucks at his job.

So the school wants to get a uniform, I dont if I've said this yet. But anyways apparently its gonna go through. And my views on this have changed. On one hand its good for our school. On the other hand it represses out individuality and all throughout life we've been told to be an individual, that we are all special. But how can we be special and express ourselves creatively when we're forced to conform and one of their many sheep who they wish to control and make obey their every wish? its ridiculous. Personally I would want a uniform BUT I have rules. It is to only be a blazer. This way we still have our individuality and freedom and they have their little sheep thing.
But with Senor Woods on the board, compromise is NOT an option. Well maybe you should fucking reinforce the dress code you dickshit. If maybe you reinforced it and told people to not wear lavalavas or Micro minis, jandals and socks and what not maybe MAYBE it would be better. Admit it. The uniform is just your last grasp at control. Control which I hope will crumble to a death so horrible. A death that results in boycotts and protests and a large amount of angry parents.

We all have match| We can make a connection| so when the times comes| just make sure you're paying attention to it

2006-07-27T21:55:00.000+12:00

I thought I was fine. I knew I was fine. I knew that those feelings I had were gone. I thought they were buried 100feet under. Burning in hell. I said mazzeltaff and we vamoosed out of there. I was wrong. Bitterly wrong. They werent gone. They were hiding. Hiding 100feet inside me. Deep down. They were burning my insides. And I didnt say mazzletaff and we never vamoosed. I vamoosed the emotions missed the last call. What's the reason behind this?

Adam. Adam. That guy. Him. Yes. Him.

I thought I was over him. But this week proved me wrong. I saw him more often, those feelings came back and yesterday. We went to the library to do our geo homework and I told Nikki I still might have feelings for him and she told me she didnt want to hear it. Well I'm sorry lady, just because your boyfriend turned out to be a dud doesnt mean that you can be all Anti-Love. She told me she didnt want to hear about me or Nicky's lovelives. Excuse me but I was the one that had to endure your stupid fucking relationship with Daniel and I had to see you guys being all lovey dovey. Just cause you crashed and burned doesnt mean that I have to suffer for it. I'm going through something I hate and you tell me to shut up about it. Fine I'll shut up about it. just never ask me who I like cause I'd hate for YOU to suffer. God knows that's horrible.
So anyways we went into the library and i was like 'yeah I hope i dont see him as much as I do already" and his class is in the fucking library (art design) and we leave. Then come back because the other computer lab is closed. I end up sitting next to him. Luckily too focused to notice. Later when we tell Monique she thought I said he fucked on my work...I WISH!
And today he took MY bus. Ok he had his friends there but still. And he talked about asses and I was like woah! And he sat behind me...and that got my mind whirring like mad. And he kept clicking his phone and the bus was noisy but I still heard his tapping on the side of the window which was kinda annoying because it was right next to my ear.
It was kinda nerve racking. The guy I have this HUGE crush on, behind me, on my bus. And it got me thinking and you know my imagination. It likes to run wild. My mind made up questions like "why is he on the bus? what is he doing here? why isnt he sitting infront of his friends? he could've had that seat easily? why behind me? do I have a sign that says sit here? Was he going to sit next to me? does he think I'm a nerd because of what Nicole said about my bag?" Yeah basically I sat there for the 15minutes and killed myself with thought patterns that I hate.
I got off that bus as quickly as I could and came home and smiled to myself.
Its funny though because everytime I hear the kid talk I start giggling because well...his voice is kinda high pitched and soft...So he looks like Ryan Ross (if not better) but sounds like something off teletubbies...he's good on the eyes not on the ears. I can deal with that. As long as he's fun to be around I guess. If he takes my bus again tomorrow can i consider that stalking?
I better do my english homework tomorrow. Film Noir. What is the use of it and how and why was it used in Finding Forrester?

I wish Adam would help me...someone find me an emo boy. Oh he was talking about emos on the bus too. I heard everything...and he sat on Brenda or whatever her name is's boyfrien's lap and yeah it was kinda hot...I'm so vain in my brain right now. You dont want to know what its all about.

I'm out. I need sleep and a pillow to cure my neck pains.
Out.

Will we always say we tried?

2006-07-15T22:29:00.000+12:00

Confidence in self: High
Confidence in hand: Low
Morale is low. Send more cookies mom. Sending the love back to the boys
Many have died in combat, others seriously injured.
It shouldnt have to end like this.
Its not right.
I shouldnt be seeing innocent lives ended.
I shouldnt be the one ruining innocent lives either.

Rations are running out, the last letter was so long ago.
When will this end?
When will the killing spree stop?
When will I get sent clean clothes?
When will the hand that holds the gun finally realise that what its doing could be good?
When will it see that what it does might be worth something?

The answer is never.
The hand will never realise its credibility.
It will never realise that it has worth
talent
fame
fortune
it will never ever realise this
instead it will do its day job

And continue to pull the trigger

Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off

2006-07-15T16:35:00.000+12:00

Can I just say...WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!
fish tanks on heads, people tipping over, fish all over the floor, going back to the sea...uh were they what were they smoking? That video made NO SENSE to me and if it does for you can someone please kindly tell me what the idea was behind that? SERIOUSLY?! FISH?!
I'm just...flabberghasted...I mean...WHAT?!
That video is rediculous but I still love the boys...even if they tend to smoke crack when making video treatments...INSANE!
Ordered Paramore's album from real groovy. Got paid nearly 100 and now I have only 20 something. SHIT I was supposed to use it to buy mu TOC tickets...uhgsdkcgbsrg But I got me a new hat, scarf and that unsound cd. Marko told me to bring my A-F cd in and we'll ibt the one from sounds over and I could swap it. I mean WHAT THE FUCK is up with theat bonus track? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!? MUST I ALWAYS GET THE DAMN CD FIRST AND THEN YOU TORTURE ME WITH BONUS SHIT? for example when I got heroine. When Sounds got it they got a bonus epitaph sampler. i got smack all. Msn isnt signing me in. Fuck my laptop needs to get fixed. FUCK YOU MICROSOFT. FUCK FUCKING YOU!

So kiss me goodbye| Honey I'm gonna meke it out alive| so kiss me goodbye| I can see the venom in your eyes

2006-07-12T12:41:00.000+12:00

yeah totes loving that song right now. SO MUCH!

I just made cookies. They're so fucking good. But now I feel sick. From eating raw cookie mix...damn...so worth it though...so so worth it.
Anyways loving the new TAI video too. They look hot. Beckett looks crack up in it when hes on the chair. The new A7X is good. I love when Syn is on the coffin with his solo *drools*
cant wait for the Snakes on a plane soundtrack to come out. I've seen the tracklisting. Alot of FBR remixes tis gonna be good.
thats all i have to say for the day. Updates getting less and less. Creative juices dead. homework piling up.

Some say love died| Way too many times| when it deserved to be alive

2006-07-08T13:56:00.000+12:00

I heart that song right now...I dont know why but I do.
So its been a while since my last update...right? I dont remember my last one so whatevers.
So heres what's happened so far in this week:

On thursday I recieved a phonecall from Marko which went like this:
Marko: hello is Ivy there
me: uh yeah whose this?
marko: its marko, hey I was just wondering if you could work tonight. Reds sick and yeah
me: uh yeah sure
marko: sweet. um its from 5 to 9 and you'll be working alone. Is that cool?
me: oh yeah thats fine

And that resulted in me working my first shift alone. I brought some cds with me.

Anti-flag
Cute is what we aim or
The Academy is
fall out boy (take this to your grave)
mest

So I was playing TAI... In store and these girls walk in...she goes "Oh I thought this was Panic! at the disco" I just turned around and took calming breathes.
Now lets get to the Ivy we know and love and let me fucking rant//::
"Now first off, TAI... sound NOTHING like P!ATD I mean Becks has a different voice and dude have you listened to them? DIFFERENTO!
Secondly, the one thing the boys have in common is being on FBR and having been on tours together and they share A&R guy...Peen Wentz. Thats it, if you cant tell the difference between the two dont come near me or else I'll rip you to shreads" end rant //::

So I gave the girl my "you are a fucking moron" look and looked away. Pssht you aint cool when you get that look., So this event has resulted in me being allowed to give people "you...are a fucking moron" looks. Its my right as a sales assistant to give people these. If they dont know they're wrong they're gonna go around claiming they know a band like WOAH! Like those teenies, remember a few blogs back? Yeah if they arent told the truth they're gonna go around saying Brendon was kicked out of the band to everyone and it will all just go down the drain. Horrible horrible.

Went to work, did shift had a large caramel mochiatto with three shots...the chick handed me a free expresso card thing...is she suggesting i get expressos? Oh and those teenagers looked at me weird like "whoa three shots? she's insane...so she's short and she drinks large coffees...weird!"

was dying for a pee by 8.45 but couldnt go because I didnt have a key. Craig came and closed up for me.

Friday:

Night. Mom was cutting an onion and didnt use a chopping bored, cut her finger required stitches. Me and Michelle finished the cooking while she was at the A&E. Had to cancel plans with Nikki for today because of this.

Saturday:

Just came back from going out with Michelle again. She got me a coffee...yes so I'm not tired anymore...white chocolate mocha mmmm. I got me some new stripey socks (green and black and white and pink) went to try on some skinny jeans cause according to my brother i'm "emu no wait Emo...well are you panda?"
The guy from just jeans...you know the weird guy that gave daniel the evils when he saw us outside hallenstiens and then looked at me strangely when we went into justjeans a few blogs back? yeah him. He asked me if I needed any help and got me a pair of pants...didnt have my size so i went to the next one up...size 14...urgh whatevers...come spring my diet will kick into action and I'll get slimmer. Hopefully. The pants I got werent jeans and werent tight on the legs, they stretched so I didnt get them. Just Jeans sells skinny jeans for 160...I'll just save up for some lee ones they're 120...i think...I need to try some on first to see what it looks like. I'll go glassons next week sat during my break.

I got a phone call yesterday. Marko again. Red's terribly ill and in bed so I'm working tomorrow. All day. 9-5...does anyone have the address for webmessenger? Or better yet if you want to talk I wanna try that new myspace IM thing...yo's.
So work tomorrow. Yay ! I got me a new FOB poster. Yup no one else has it from the store cause there was only one and I grabbed it. Its the one with them in little windows...michelle thinks they're ugly...soooo? So is Chris Brown but you dont see me commenting on him.

So work tomorrow. My back aches. I need to sleep properly. In the middle of a weird dream this morning, mom came in and told me to do the laundry and killed my dream...they were up to the last line of the story and I dont know how it ends now. Cause with me when i wake up? I'm up for good. Well sometimes I can get back to sleep but if its in the middle of a dream thats it. I'm up. Plus it was like 8 o clock...i watched Justice League this morning it was good. What happened to animaniacs and stuff though? WB bring back your cartoons for me I miss them...damn you tv2 for playing all that crap like that hihipuffyamiyumi shit I got nauseous watching that.
Urgh I miss Pinky and the Brain and since we're not getting sky anymore I cant watch my old favourites. World cup on Monday. 5.30 am I am SO up for it. Setting my clocks and getting to bed early on sunday...well tomorrow. There is no way in hell I'm missing the final.

Oh we were talking about the guy at Just jeans right. He's cute. I'd date him...hot.

Thats it i think...mmmm I need to think of more cds to play at work...I'm gonna take GCH, FOB (first album) and thats all I got so far...I wanna take obscure things that wouldnt get played there...we'll see. Def. taking my CIWWAF again. I love that album too much for my own good.

Urgh downloading a set and it wont seem to download properly...downloaded Zoli's twice and it wouldnt work...I'll try again later when I'm not so lazy and tired. need to clean Gary's house.

got bored during work. Drew a picture:

Oh TOC tickets are gettinf bought next week hopefully sometimes soon. According to my Sha-an-tayface they arent doing so well....hmmm pssst according to her and warner the P!ATD boys plan on visiting after TOC and their australian shows...more to come. More to save. I want that hoodie minus the damn P&H fees. It'll be 60 like my sp one I never wear. listened to old mix cd last night and remember how pop punky I used to be...it was all GC, SP and Mest....and YC but its kinda evolved from that...its still Mest and YC but I've added more bands onto the list. GC's last album let me down a little but I just wanna live still cracks me up everytime lets hope they can make it up to me this time round.

I drew a picture yesterday and it got me thinking how come my pictures dont have full lines?

Seriously? Anyways thats it for the day. You've had your Ivyfix and thats all that matters.

Sha-an-tayface likes to call me Spoon...whatever happened to the Ivy? So I've resorted to calling her Knife. I miss Monladle and Nikspork and even...I cant believe I'm gonna say this Indiespatula...a little. He was my pesk of the day.

Oh and I know why I love Jeff from CIWWAF he reminds me of Ben Gaul-Crown...aka Hugglesbear! Ben gives me the best cuddles he's like a giant bear. I attacked him with a hg once...and he was jumping up and down. Thank you Nikki for pointing out that if he jumped when I hugged him I would've hugged his crotch. Yup he's taller then me. And I have good timing. I miss his hugs...they're healthy for me.

Ok thats all.

Oh my brother was like "when you get your boyfriend I'm gonna kill him like "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH MY SISTER? YOU BETTER NOT TOUCH HER CUNT!" like ok?" and I was like "uh yeah...you're so not meeting my boyfriend then..."

That is all. Good bye.

oh and p.s my hands smell like exit mould from cleaning the bathroom this morning. the things I do for a clean bathroom.

No you cant stop this exodus| no you wont stop this exodus!

2006-07-03T21:23:00.000+12:00

Oh yeah I love me some Anti-Flag bee-itch.

So we've got good news and bad news. Personally I love the bad news first.

Badnews:
My bluetooth isnt working properly I cant seem to send things to and from my laptop. I've tried reinstalling it but it wont work so we'll have to see. I might clear my phone of everything or most files to see what happens. It comes up with Full memory...if anyone knows whats up with that hit me up and give us a clue.
This also means that I cant update Schuster's myspace with pictures because of the small problem with technology we're having.

Goodnews:
My hair is really fluffy right now...yeah LOL it up. Its awesome.
I've rearranged my two poster walls. So I've got P!ATD, FFTL, A7X and A-F next to my head at night. Misfits and Bouncing Souls have moved over to the FOB, The Used side while MCR has moved over a little. And I've stolen promotional album cover posters from work (TBS and P!ATD) too so they're up.
I've started writing again. I'm writing chapter 2 of my recent story. Oh and I have pictures:

Oh yeah that was from the past three months I'd say. I'm not sure. I bluetoothed them over a few weeks ago before the bluetooth died on me.

So I have term break. Goals include:
Finish off homework
Get learners
Practice guitar

So my sister and Tili know about Gary, and they're like "Ooh Gary" and we tease my brother cause he doesnt know who Gary is...cracks me up...its good. OK grey's anatomy is on. I'm out.

says "girly girly you're at your best when you're sober"| And she slurs "no, no just one more"| And one turns into four|

2006-06-25T13:42:00.000+12:00

I was talking to Nick last night. We were talking about Iranboy. Apparently he was making out with me at Sylvia park but I had silver streaks. Damn I wish it was. But then she was seen with another guy later on in the night. Pssht we all know I would still be with him. So this led to the "Ivy is not pretty" thing I have inside me. This morning I asked Indie if he thought I was pretty and he said yes. And that led to me feeling confident for a few seconds...thos few seconds resulted in me messing around with the digital camera's sepia and black and white mode. It then led to me being a dick and flashing the camera but with my bra on...it doesnt look that bad but i doubt I'll end up posting them on here anytime soon. They dont look that bad but that's because I control where the picture starts and ends. Cut off my head and it looks greater.
Maybe later when someone else calls me pretty...huh...lol my first pictures of my boobs...hmm...strange I find it really weird...I'll post them in my myspace sometime...after I put giant X's over my face. Or something...Talk me out of it?
They look weird cause well its me and I wasnt wearing eyeliner...i'm too lazy and I'm not going anywhere today so there's no point...
Maybe... You cant even tell its my boob cause its taken from above me and yeah looks like I'm flat chested like kimberly...

I'm an idiot...ha this is funnier then monique telling me to put out to get in Adam's pants...lololololol. And Shaknife and Ivyspoon have figured out that most guys named adam are cute. Ahem Adam Laz,gsdhgra hot
Adam srghfdgbr aka Panic!boy hot
Adam urhgfdgbsd shaknife's ex meh she said okhot
adam siska not that bad
and thats it...
And the goal is to try and get the spoon a fork so she has all her cutlery.
Cutlery gang is enough to make you shiver!

Your memories always caught me like a ghost| To put it nicely I hope you choke

2006-06-23T23:14:00.000+12:00

James said my hair looked punkish today, styled and poofy...its called sleping funny with wet hair and not brushing it the next day. We shared crushes today, it was awesome. We're getting closer. Its always great to have a platonic relationship with a guy who is straight and can give you your lesbian tuesdays like James does. I mean sure I have guy friends but none of them are like James. James is textbook weird while the other guys are soccer weird.
I broke my nail today and now it feels weird.
James dubbed Panic!boy with a new name. Panic!boy is now Eygptian guy/ pharoah NO I like Panic!boy. Becca had a picture of Ryan Ross today on her dp and I swear to fucking god I thought it was Panic!boy. I wish he would tell me to go go cry in the corner *coughdanielyouluckybitchcough* I'd tell him only if he fucked me first. Bow chica bow bow indeed.

Speeches today, I have to repeat it monday. She was disappointed that I hadnt memorized most of it and the fact that I said it too fast, which by the way for the record is not my fault. I naturally talk fast..

Can I just say that apart from my error of not using the ellipse there I love my hair? When it plays nice that is. Its black but its not, its dark brown but its not. Its brack naturally too. Awesome, saves me tonnes on hairdye. *coughnikkicough*

I was reading up on Chicago. I wanna go to the university there and the girls told me to apply. They were like what's the worst that could happen? You get rejected oooh! But lets just say I did apply, and I did get it...I would forever be in debt. Forever.

Monique and I also came up with this theory yesterday. Since we have recently been seeing Panic!boy around school more (no we're not stalking him wait it all works out) I came up with the idea that he's stalking us because whereever we go we always see him unlike when I was 'in love' with him I never saw him. So here's out theory/game.
If we see him more then five times a day it means he's stalking us/me. BUT we cant go looking for him, because that would WE would be stalking HIM. So we see him once in the mornings most time so thats once. Since it was cold and I spent the entire day in English basically today he wasnt stalking us. He might've been we dont know. Damn I want in his pants. He looks Indie. HEY SHA! Here's an Indie boy that if you snag I'll snag off you. I keed I keed.
So anyways the game will continue on monday if we see him more then five times he's totally stalking me and wants my secks...I wish.

Ayla thinks he looks girly. People need to stop putting down my crushes. I dont usually find a guy at Edgewater I think is good looking and the last thing I need is people telling me "he looks like a girl, he has big lips, he's ugly and blah blah blah"
I'm not exactly girlish looking, my lips arent exactly perfect, I'm not exactly pretty, I'm hair and eyeliner. Its true if you were to break me down I'd be hair and eyeliner. If you were to give me a title based on the way I looked I'd be "too much eyelinre girl" and you know you'd end up calling me that too.

Jerry Only may have came first but his eyeliner has got NOTHING on me when I first started wearing it. I've cut back and thats still a lot. I went through my first eyeliner in less them six months...speaking of which I need to get a new eyeliner soon. Estee lauder in black if anyone wants to get it for me.

I lost my Antidote Apparel badge too. I dont know where it was. I either dropped it on the way home, on the bus, around the street or at home somewhere. I dont know and I really liked it too. It cost me like $3 here well you know thats after conversions not including postage. Aww I'm sad now if someone would like to tell Greg I lost mine and manage to convince him to send one my way or if someone would like to buy me one feel free to.

I'm heading into town tomorrow, visiting my Mistress Sha and giving her, her merch. Hang out, shop, Ryan Groove and then bus home. I need to get clothes and look for my book voucher so I can get AP.
Crystel asked if she could work again so she is. Its cool. I get to visit my mistress ad get my money. I'm hoping on my way home I find my I heart tofu badge or something cause I really did love that badge. I hadn't even had it for a week yet either.
Gonna ctrl + V whatever is on my mouse:
I just gave myself the shivers,
and that's what you get when you think about her.
And I just gave myself the shivers,
and that's what you get, that's what you get.

Awww sweat the battle before it sweats you. The Spoon loves that song.
The Spoon loves the Fork...I think I'll dub my next boyfriend *insertname*Fork for the laughs.
You know you'd laugh. Laugh like lmahhrtgbfdsgbfao laugh

Kimberly asked me why I call myself Ivyspoon. Its simple. I stole it from Ryan Ross. SHIT she's gonna tell God on me now and he's gonna smite me. GEEZ I'm not gonna go to her hippy loving God camp...I love SCIENTOLOGY OK? Let's play a game called "dont force me into your religion and I wont do the same to you"

Ball tomorrow. Everyone has Ball fever but the Spoon. Screw the ball till next year. Masquarade bitches, I need to lose weight this summer so I can look hot and pretty in my dress that's hopefully getting made m'dear Tilly/i the awesomest fashion designer EVER cause I love her.

That's it. This is probably one of the longer blogs I've posted this month. I'm out. Night peeps

The Spoon has spoken. Someone slap me and stop me from saying The Spoon

I dont wanna talk talk talk about it!

2006-06-21T18:35:00.000+12:00

FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK!

I think I still like him. I wish I wasnt me. Does anyone else want my life for a while till I figure things out?

Part two of Newport Living

2006-06-19T22:15:00.000+12:00

Last one and it isnt Ivyspoon aka Shampain without her faces:

You have a moan all of your own| And I can feel it down to the bone

2006-06-19T18:21:00.000+12:00

Remember this: ?

Well take a gander at this bitches:

Thats right I got it. I'll edit my post later and add pictures of me with my shirt and my badge...I got a CIWWAF, THS and GCH sticker...I'm sticking it on electrik baby...she deserves some loving. I havent given her much lately.

shitty day.
Shitty day
shitty day

I heart Newport living. Its goood like sex but minus the fears of super potent sperm pregnancies.

Photographs, I want them back

2006-06-18T21:26:00.000+12:00

WTF was i thinking?

Scene fingers!

hotter then K-Fed fo shizzle bitches

Yeah I'm in my photobucket and its making me laugh

we sent this to Shaant cause he was down:

Yo I'm awesome for the adjustments

thats all I closed my photobucket window

1 trillion dollars

2006-06-13T12:32:00.000+12:00

I'm updating cause I'm home. And not at school bitches.
I'm sick, I think I caught it from my sister. She's blargh at the moment I'm just boo!
It seems I have caught her throat bug thing and my throat is all swollen and I cant talk or breath properly. What a joyous occassion. Feel free to yell at me for not taking anything for it all morning. My dad got cough syrup for my sister and its for a chesty cough, I think mine's more dry. But I have cough drops and yeah...actually I have a dry syrup here somewhere I gave it to my sister the other day. My mom wanted my sister to take me to the doctors but we told her its fine, just let me rest and take some drugs here and I'll be fine. Lets hope. I definately have the worse sniffles ever. They suck. I think I'm gonna take pictures of stuff later...Gary my snail is sleeping again. All he does is sleep. Here meet Gary

Meow!
I heart Gary...he scaled my Carebears pencil and kissed my finger last night. We had fun. *insert cheesy music and me running through field with Gary*
Its cold and I didnt sleep much last night. I woke up at 4 and thought I had work. I forgot what day it was and then I realised it was Tuesday. I went back to bed and had wierd dreams about me calling everyone and telling them I was sick.

So in good news, I think I'm over Panic! Boy ("Say what now?! Girl last week you were all over him and now you's be like Adam who?)
Yeah leave me alone. I see him I dont go weak at the knees anymore. I just go 'remember when I used to like him?'
I think its good that I've moved on from him. For a guy who never got to know me he had me wrapped tightly around his finger. Maybe it was for the best we never hooked up could you imagine what could/would happen if we did? He's have me bending over backwards doing stupid things.
So yes, you have been warned. I dont like Adam anymore and I'm probably gonna end up liking some guy real soon. And he'll probably end up having me wrapped around him again too. But who knows if I would want to hold his hand or not. Kisses and such are normal. People never pay attention to the things around them till its gone. To me holding hands is one of those things. I'd rather hold someone's hand and know I have them, then share a kiss and not.
That probably made no sense but whatever. Sometimes its just not meant to.

Speech topics this year, for me have jumped back and forth and I need to start writing today. I've decided on "George Bush should not have been reelected as president" and I know its obvious now but still its something I feel passionate about (politics not Bush) and I have information on it so I might as well do it. Afterall if I did my legal age thing my fight would be stupid. At least with this topic I can argue it and people will be 'persuaded'

I think thats it for my blog. They're getting shorter I know. Its just its too cold for me to type now...There was snow! But in the south island...and I live in the north...still there was snow.
Australia's in drought HA! And we're in flood...nice...maybe now we wont have to freak out about our HEPs water levels getting too low and us having to save power.

Anyone else hear about the guy in Germany or whatever who uses wheat to generate heat and how all these religious people are getting angry because wheat is holy? No offense but that's bullshit. And for the people who are all "there are starving people all over blah lbahblah" stop eating and feed them then. Having a different resource to generate electricity and such is as good as a cause as feeding poor people. Those old folks complaining should give their pension to the poor then.

Ok ending my rant. Signing off.

Heart Sickstarrrrrr

M|U|N|A

2006-06-09T17:27:00.000+12:00

So today was Muna. Nice fresh start to the day at wake up call being 6.15. I siphoned some school electricity and we went into town. AGGS and got set up. As soon as we sat down in our seats Iran aka St Kentigerns came up to ME and asked me as the representative to sign their petition to keep capital punishment. I had to sit in front of the sign and I had to have the laptop out didnt I?
Can I just say if you were there today did you think the Iran guy who had the carpet and the giant red turban kinda cute? Maybe it was me...but damn. Iran I never knew you had such fine boys.
but seriously today was fun, at first confusing but most definately fun once we got the hang of it. I met some great people (Selma, Katja and the rest of the gang)
South Korea go DIE. Tomorrow I say the speech Nicholas is writing. Lets hope my ego gets the best of me and I dont choke and do well in this thing

oh Iran...you can panic at my disco anyday...and remember folks...comments can be annonymous

Like walking on broken glass| no answer for what was asked| you're all alone

2006-06-08T19:53:00.000+12:00

So tomorrow we have MUNA crap to go to. Be at school by 7.00...*groans* Coffee and lots of it please.
I've had exams for a majority of the week and now I'm done. This weekend I aim to finish Truter's essay for her.

I think I'm over Panic! Boy...at least I hope I am. He has a girlfriend, I havent seen him all week. More news on it as it develops. Here's to hoping. I move on from cursh to crush faster then Paris hilton does sex tapes.

Currently listening to: Second Chances and So Sick (Cover)

I've ripped a few more albums on to my laptop. Taking it to MUNA but alas no wireless connection. Oh well. We'll do some illegal activity while talking about crap.
So we're supposed to bring gifts to the UN thing...I'm thinking band Aids huh huh get it? Aids? yeah I know but hey last minute thing we didnt know till Sha told me.

So in other news, FG moment...I'm gonna marry Patrick's voice cause it would put me to sleep cause its sooooooooooooo purty.

I had timtam balls today. I feel sick. I've got fresh supply of watermelon drops. And I want the FOB address book.

So sneaking laptops in...I wonder if its allowed...*checking* it doesnt say but it does say:
The removal or defacing of a delegation's desk flag or name card is strictly prohobited

Does this mean I cant steal mine? Damn.

Listening to Three Oh Nine.

Hit the fucking lights!

Where is your boy tonight? I hope he is a gentleman

2006-06-03T19:48:00.000+12:00

I depress myselves sometimes. Again wrapped me tight around his little finger.
Hey FOX, make me your next reality show. God My life is full of drama. I create it myself for sures.
Hoping to myself that you would walk through the doors
praying to god that you would
but why would I do that?
When all I know
is that you're name is Adam and that you had someone walk up to you and made it look like they were going to grab your package? (Hot. I'd hit that)
Phrase of the day: I'd hit that.
I'd hit that hit that hit that ass!

Anyways.
*locks self in blog and prays that everything blows over*
That's never gonna work. Life hates me.
it's me against life.
Life has a gun
Honey havent you heard? Life has a gun and it knows how to use it. I'm the target for all of my bullshit.
Isn't life interesting?
I bet it is.

I've been banned at it.
He's held it in his palm. And its gonna be crushed to pieces in a few months.
Misery is my middle name.

Misery is my middle name.
Deciet puts the Sur in Surname
Lies is what I go by
Hatred is what they call me.
I'm as normal as they cant come

Here's a list of Flaws,
I:

Wear to much eyeliner
talk to fast
am online too much
fail hard at classes
cant sing
cant play guitar to save my life
borrow money I dont have
Fall for guys like you too easy.

The pros and cons of being me.
You all like to stare and ridicule but none of you take the time to speak.
I'd rather be left alone sometimes then talked to.

Is this too much? Am I obsessed. Most likely. He's got that hold over me.

Like I said in the beginning. He's got me wrapped around his little finger.

Infatuations got me going crazy| Desperation makes me stay

2006-06-02T18:35:00.000+12:00

Just for the record the weather today: Extremely cold gushes of wind, a downpour of blushes and giggles and a cloud of sighs for all.

That's what it is. Its cause I dont know him. Well I do but not like I know the other guys I've liked. He's got that air around him, it makes him so mysterious. It makes him appeal to me. And I hope it blows over. He makes me weak in the knees, he makes me girly he makes my heart crumble.

We saw him today. He was putting his scarf on outside B block. It was cold and windy and his scarf was an orangey colour. He made it look sexy. I swear to god. I just wanna hold his hand cause he looks like the sweetest guy ever. Maybe I'm assuming things like this. Maybe he's really an abusive boyfriend. But he has the most innocent of faces and the cutest grin/pout I've ever seen. Its adorable. You just have to see it for yourself.
Anyways back to me assuming about Adam. Yeah I'm thinking no one (ofimportanceintheIvyandAdamSaga) is ever gonna read these. I might as well name names.

He looks like the type of guy who'd keep you warm no matter what, the type of guy that would hold your hand...just because and he'd kiss you just because you looked like you needed one.
Dont you love my assumptions? They make him out to be a god. He is one...in my mind...well not really. Nikki and I talked. I hope this infatuation goes away soon, I hope he doesnt have a girlfriend. Even though we know he does, we could be wrong nonetheless.

I really need to stop with this talk of him. He has me wrapped around his smart little finger. He's short. Taller then me. Like everyone is.

He's supposed to be in 6th form...but he's in 7th. I always seem to go for the guys with a bigger brain then me. ALWAYS. I like the nerds. They have more heart and they're awesome.
Like Adam.

I dont get to see him at all next week. Stupid exams. We have different times and we get to go home when we're done. He probably wont be taking his bus and I will be for my exams since I have them all in the time period of two days. At least the week after next I'll get to get my daily Adam Fix.

I swear if his lady saw this she might hunt me down and beat me over. But I mean look at him. It's kinda hard not to have girls staring at him when he looks like THAT!

So we were talking. Monique has never seen him live. She's only ever seen his picture. His cute ID photo. With the little pout and his little head tilt and see what I mean when I say he makes me girly? Anyways. I wanna hold the kids hand. He's so cute looking. He has nice hands.

I need to get over this.
If only it was as easy to do as it was to type unfortunately for me. It's not.

"Keeping tempos

with or without our clothes

And I'm telling you as fast as I can

I'm a trend, a trend

Cause I dont break hearts I just dent them

I dont break hearts I just dent them"

I put the "Metro" In Metronome

Cute is what we aim for

www.cuteiswhatweaimfor.com

From upcoming album

"The same old blood rush with a new touch"

Fueled By Ramen

2006

June 20th

Cause I just wanna break you down so badly

2006-05-30T17:33:00.000+12:00

I got me tin of Happy Bunny lollies yesterday. Its awesome I just figured out how to open the case properly without ruining my nails.
The jap speech is tomorrow. I'm gonna be spending tonight memorising it as best as I can.
Also...Hi sparknotes.com...you're gonna help me understand R&J better right? Right.
Not going to stalk panicboy like I thought I was. Its kinda creepy yes.

there's not much to say but i cleaned my room a little. My fingers are cold and some kid asked me if I was lesbian...it was that kid who i said had no balls...whatever obviously he doesnt if he asks me if I'm lesbian. He's just jealous cause I wont jump his bones. I need a berry/red/pink coloured lip stick

I just spent the last few minutes going over my Brendon Urie pics cause thats what all us cool kids do. We go over pictures of people we admire. And crap like that.
That kid has the funniest facial features ever and he has nice eyes.
Ok thats all I've got for now
I keep popping those happy bunny candies...they taste like crap not watermelon but still i eat it. Idiot.
night peoples. I'll post later. Monday when we have a holiday at the latest

Let's play this game called when you catch fire| I wouldn't piss to put you out

2006-05-27T20:19:00.000+12:00

That song right there, "tell that Mick he just made my list of things to do today" by Fall Out Boy (www.falloutboyrock.com) is dedicated to Nicholas Bradshaw.
I really do hope you choke on something. Maybe on your stupid souffles!
You brought this on yourself. And you know it. You knew I was touchy on the subject of him and you kept pushing it. YOU PUSHED IT TILL SOMEONE WAS IN TEARS.
That person just so happened to be me. You had to. It's your job though. You dont need friends you son of a bitch. According to you I was never your friend...You know What? I hope your 'friends' realise what an asshole you are and leave you. You deserve to die alone. You have no heart. You have no soul. You're one of those dark little kids who always plot to kill people...thinking about death and gloom is what you're about. I hope one day someone shoots you with sunshine and let you see that you had a good friendship going but you killed it. You killed it CAUSE YOU WANTED DRAMA. Please look at your own life, find the drama, buy the drama whatever. I DONT CARE Just leave MY drama alone. ITS NOT YOURS TO EVEN CARE ABOUT.

You know what? I'm gonna name names. I dont care if someone from school reads this. I dont care if his distant friggen cousin reads this.

I like Adam. I dont care if he finds out. He's cute and looks like a decent guy. At least he doesnt look like a jackass. At least he's good for the eyes. And he's smart.

There. It's off my chest. I could really not give a fuck what happens with that piece of information.

I dont care if you're gay, those werent the rumours we heard floating around, incase you havent noticed people arent exactly calling me straight either. You make a few girl on girl remarks you're labelled lesbian. You make a few thats what your mom said last night you're labelled milf fucker.
Please I'm not exactly that straightest person ever I know but it doesnt mean I'm gonna get all homophobist on your ass just cause you like boys. Please, I'm all for boy on boy action...personally its kinda rwwr.

You know what hurts the most? Knowing the guy since I was 11. I'm turning 17 this year. I've always thought of him as my friend. Turns out he only trusts two people in the world. That hurt the most.
I've got other friends, I've got my personal hugger Ben, I've got my besties and my friends. I've got people who love me.
You're gonna have nothing when the time comes.
ifthe apocalypse came tomorrow. At least I know I'd die happy knowing that I had a free consciencous you'd die knowing you broke somebody.

Like the song says: I hope you choke.

The weather has been: rain and storm clouds seem to be brewing. Alls well does not end well.
Expect thunder, lightening and a hailstorm of cuss words.
Tomorrow's forecast seems to involve deep breathing and studying.

It's nice to meet you| Not nice to part| Nice goes a long way in a forgiving heart| You used up your chances| Go find someone else to RUIN

2006-05-26T16:34:00.000+12:00

I've had the shittiest day today. It's raining and someone who I thought was a real friend ended up breaking the trust we had.

Nicholas told more people. At this rate I dont care if he tells Panic!boy anymore.
He actually made me cry today. It was 8.20 in the morning and I was sitting there crying. I needed a hug but Ben.G wasnt there. He looks cuddly so I wanted his hug. I didnt get one till Interval. At 11.
It was worth it though. Ben G gives better hugs then Ben C. Ben C doesnt give hugs and doesnt let me sign his cast.

Today was kinda borish. I finished writing my japanese speech. I just have to learn it now.
I have to study for Math. The resit is on Friday. Urgh. Speeches for English are coming up. That'll be easy...right? I dont think I have a problem with public speaking.

I think that sums it up. Oh it's raining and I'm doing the laundry. I'm gonna have to hang it up in the garage. Hope the weather clears up so I can do the rest of the laundry. It's piling up like mad. It's spilt out of the basket and into the bath tub. Luckily the tub is never used.
Showers are awesome. I just had one. I still smell good

She’s on the floor, someone get help (and she waits)|She lost control, then she lost herself (and she waits)

2006-05-25T18:12:00.000+12:00

She checks her watch

It’s just past four

She’s walking into the liquor store

She’s inside out

And quick to dream

With empty pockets she can barely breathe

And she waits

Doesn’t matter what they say

Just keep on walking by

You can open up their eyes

You’ll get what’s yours in time

So just keep on, wishing

On the stars outside your window

I know my voice will guide you home

And the only change

That comes her way

Are the nickels she finds at the entrance way

Will someone please

Clean up this mess?

Her spilled milk life has stained her dress

She’s on the floor, someone get help (and she waits)

She lost control, then she lost herself (and she waits)

Doesn’t matter what they say

Just keep on walking by

You can open up their eyes

You’ll get what’s yours in time

So just keep on, wishing

On the stars outside your window

I know my voice will guide you home

I know my voice will...
And she waits

And she waits

Doesn’t matter what they say

Just keep on walking by

You can open up their eyes

You’ll get what’s yours in time

So just keep on, wishing

On the stars outside your window

I know my voice will guide you home
I know my voice will guide you home

I know my voice will...

I love that song and you know it.

I need to burn a new cd.

So yeah. Life has been ok. Full of drama but ok none the less.

I just wanted to post these lyrics up.

Walking - October Fall

A Season In Hell

Fueled By Ramen

http://www.fueledbyramen.com/bands/index.php?id=45

My life is over

2006-05-24T17:00:00.000+12:00

No really it is.
He knows.
HE KNOWS!
It's all Zara and Nicholas' fault. I was so close to crying when he told me its not even funny. It really isnt funny.

They were talking about him and me. At the library where he was. They go which Adam and Nick "fdghreg" and Zara goes "oh you mean the one on the computer?"
He looks at them weirdly.

Holy shit. My life is doomed. His girlfriend will kick me ass. I'm Gonna die. I swear I was so close to cry after school so fucking close and Nick just laughs.

*whacks head against wall*
Too many people know. This is NOT good at all. This sucks. So Much Ass.

Urgh.Thats why I hate telling people these things. I really do. usually only three people know..nearly ten people know this time round.
Urgh.

I'M DOOMED SO FUCKING DOOMED ITS NOT FUCKING FUNNY. I'M PROBABLY OVER REACTING BUT I DONT GIVE A FUCK RIGHT NOW!

So I had a hot shower and it calmed me down a little. I also exfoliated the entire top layer of my skin off. Now I'm all smooth and such.
And I smell like vanilla...yum

*Gone to listen to MCR's IBYMBYBMYL*

For now let's just pretend| To be the attempt at best friends|

2006-05-23T20:10:00.000+12:00

Panic! Guy has a girlfriend. Nicholas scared me twice today with him. He was like "they told him" I was all "OH MY FUCKING GOD! NOW I HAVE TO AVOID HIM!" Turns out Nick was lying and I had had seen Panic! Guy and I ran all the way to Nikki and was all "Eeek He's there he looked at me!"
So yeah. I was scared. Then after school he told me he told Panic! guy. He didnt I told him if he did, I'd castrate him before he could scream for his mommy. He laughed. It rained. I got caught in the rain. Wanted to listen to the song but it wasn't on my phone. I hadn't put it on.

Anyways. I was talking to my dear friend Monique. And we talked about me...cause my ego is bigger than the sun and its all about me me me me me (oh and to the guy or girl that manages to capture the ivy flag have fun trying to deflate it) and well we were discussing how a certain couple (cause here at Ivyspoon.blogspot.com we dont name names) and how one half of that couple totally ditched us and how she promised us well me mainly that 'nothing would change' well uh hang on (a few gestures from Pete)

IT DID.

But we wont dwell on that. But all I know...Boys come and go, it's the girls that will always stay. But sometimes when you abuse your girls like that. They'll leave and when that boy leaves. You'll be the only one left. But you wont be the one standing.

Now a few words from a band:

It’s nice to meet you, not nice to part;
Nice goes a long way in a forgiving heart.
You used up your chances.
Go find someone else to ruin.

So Miss M and I talked and we got quite giddy on the subject of if Ivy ever gets a boyfriend and yes. It was interesting. Intresting stuff.

In other news, A Shabird told me of a Warnerrift of a Tour. We're all Giddy on that. It's fucking PUMPKIN PIE!

"I think you're ugly, on the inside"

Spot the Falcone!
My favourite game of all time.

Listening to the same song on repeat is always fun. Especially when the song is THIS good.

So it's time for that little thing
where we get cryptic and pretend
that life is all ok
but in reality its not
Everyday another strip of me is ripped away
tossed down the drains
You think I'm normal
but you dont know
the inside it hurts
they think they know
but they dont
They think they understand
But will they ever really?

Another word written
Another erased
More to be written
in a quick haste
A small ryhme
a little ditty
its soon to be over.
Go read Shaant's journal.
Go buy the album
You didnt expect to not whore my boys out did you?
Preorders get sent out in like three weeks.
Boo fucking yah!

I'm bouncing off the walls again!

Every single FBR order I make. I get excited. It's the smell of new merch. It's a drug.
I heart Tofu.
I heart Antidote
I heart Fueled By Ramen

Dont hate me| Forever| I'm better late than never| I failed you| I'm sorry| That's simply my life story

2006-05-22T17:11:00.000+12:00

I like Panic! Guy
He's awesome.
Keep it hush
But he's hot.
Too bad he has a girlfriend.
All the good ones do

NO

2006-05-21T11:51:00.000+12:00

I was supposed to be meeting Story of the year.
I'm not
anymore.
My brother told me I have to work for him today.
I didnt
I had cancelled on Sha last night
wish I didnt.

So I'm stuck at home.
Instead of meeting them

What chaptstick flavour do you use.
Awesome.
I use strawberry.
Shaant uses Cherry

(I) hiphop at Ihop

2006-05-20T20:23:00.000+12:00

I love Cute Is What We Aim For. The interview they did with Ross was FAWESOME!
TOM sounds adorable (April 12 1988)
Curse of Curves is about JEFF
FRED is away
SHAANT claims that he will watch Ferngully later that night
The album name was created due to sexual repression

january 21 2005 first show

Have you ever eaten a fetus?
no...yes

Would you ever cover a song from Ferngully?

Cheyne is Illmatic (we knew that)

Jeff needs to call people back

They will play Warped Tour one day

Bamboozle is awesome

They played last year.

They're playing with KANYE WEST thats Illin

Fred is a straight up bitch

He pulls hair

Someone offered themselves and their mother to Jeff

And why is it so important to know if the guys are virgins? MY GOD.

NO THEY'RE NOT I FUCK THEM EVERY FUCKING NIGHT. SERIOUSLY THOUGH...LEAVE THEIR SEX LIVES OUT OF YOUR LIVES

Tis all I'll be saying.

Jeff is not available for other proms
Vests are not in for him.
Casual
Mozart round tipped shoes (say whaa?)
Pink tie
White shirt
fitted pants

People dont hate you Jeff. We love you.
"People Love me. We're not concieted. Jeff is."

Oh Em Gee

716 867 5278 give Fred a call. And if he picks up. Tell him Ivy hearts him. And the rest of the guys. Fred Looks like Ray Romano. But better
They're evil.

Everybody likes Jeff

Anberlin + CIWWAF
JM + CIWWAF

We're ALL stoked

Who has the biggest penis...Tom's MOM is listening.

Tom Likes Hollister

They're gangsturr the band

Dave is awesome

Shaant doesnt use hair products.
Conditioner and gross

Shaant felt Violated...(I'm sorry lol)
((It wasnt me. It was that other chick))

Fred was super pissed from all the phone calls.

Shaant that's cause Cute Is What We Aim For is Illmatic

Tom likes Orgy
That does sound weird.

Final words?

Cute is what we aim for fucking own. I love them. Buy the record. Shameless fucking plug and buy me that bunny shirt. Please?

Birthday Wishlist

2006-05-16T17:20:00.000+12:00

My birthday's in August. The 5th of august to be exact. Months to start saving folks. Here's my wishlist. Someone show this to my family:

Source: http://r3mnant.com/store/product_info.php?cPath=18&products_id=511

source: http://www.smartpunk.com/

I think that's all for now. Wait for part 2 or something. These are the must have items on my list. An Ipod isnt that much wanted as much as this hoodie

So like yeah

2006-05-13T21:02:00.000+12:00

So yeah...I'm not going to the ball. No phomecoming for ivy. Mom's being a cow.
shes trying to make me the female version of peter pan. Never to grow old.
I dont want to be the female peter pan. I'm not peterina pan. Nuh uh. Pete can be peter pan. I'll stick to being ivy.

too cold to type. to slightly sad to move.
I mean I wasnt excited about the ball. I was kinda just being a sheep. Urgh sheep but its the fact that she just shot me down before I even managed to say anything. that makes me sad. Anyways gotta go wash my face. it's got eyeliner on it and today's library germs. ewwww library germs.

It's not enough| its not enough| it's not enough

2006-05-13T11:34:00.000+12:00

The weather today: cold, half naked. Lovely.

I'm gonna be sharey and I'm gonna post some pictures I took yesterday:

Meh

Ok I like this one

Meh

Oh and have we met Blagh?

Hot. My vampire eraser. He'll come to your house and he will cut you!

Listening to Ciwwaf. You know that's how I do.
Thats my obsession. What's yours?
Rhetorical Question

Oh going through my photobucket. Here's what I found:

Hot. Two well one well endowed guy and the other...not so much...both successful. Both awesome.

Shit remember when my hair was THIS long and I had curled it? Damn...that was a while ago. It was when I had photoshop. Oh and this one:

I love when emos make out or boys make out for that matter.

and my favourite?

Awesome.

That's enough photobucket reminscing.
So today I head to the library. I dont go till one. So I have a few hours. Well one hours really.

So I'ma make this short.
Didnt practice yesterday. Maybe tomorrow.
yes tomorrow.

here's what I look like when I wake up:

Morning me...just as good looking as I do at night baby

Today's show was brought to you by the letter

and the number

People who are sponsering this blog are:

and

or so I wish.

but its so hard| when you're shallow as a shower| From what I've heard with skin you'll win

2006-05-10T18:12:00.000+12:00

So much homework. Luckily it's been reduced thank you Mrs Truter!
So now I have:
pages: 12, 13 and 8 for math.
One essay 350+ on how a scene changed your view on a character for English
Kanji and translating sentences for Japanese
and
the history assessment.
FUN!
*does a happy dance*
Please bitch its too much for me

That's write. PHOMECOMING? bitches.

I've got the orginal too but I thought this was funnier.
My breastbone is itching gahI hate it when it does that.

<---I wanna get the "Punchline is the man' shirt but it's not on FBR anymore cause Punchline is too cool for the FBR webstore. *said in hoitytoityvoice*

It itches it itches like a bitches.
Ryhme!

so it rains all week. I'm cold all week.
Word.

RECAP SO FAR:
Stockings and stripes and never wearing them straight.
Getting shoved against the wall
Ben G screaming rape when I'm the victim
the guys who pushed me against the wall trying to get me to sit on the wet bench in a skirt
evil bastards.
Nikki giving them confetti soap
them trying to make me eat it
me shouting heinous crime and trying to avoid eating the soap
Ben G going "clip clop clip clop" "clogs"
Me shoving soap confetti down Ben C's shirt
Ben C trying to get it out
Ben C calling me a bitch (but what else is new? That's the only word he calls me)
Jason pulling my hair
jason going "just checking if its real"
Jason pulling my bag
Jason going "just checking if its real"
Indie going "Ben loves you ivy"
Me going "fuck you Indie"
Nikki disolving the confetti in the puddles
Me walking through them Like Kayne West aka Jesus wannabe

For todays recap:
Cameron and his friends doing erotic moves with an umbrella through b3 windows
Me laughing so hard
Cameron yelling "Germany!" through the window as Nikki sits on Daniel
Me laughing so hard
more dodgy moves with an umbrella
his friend does the eat Vage face through door window
Me laughing so hard
Us moving to other side of class
me spotting a hand doing the jerking off motion with an umbrella
me laughing so hard.
the bell ringing
Us leaving
me getting homework
me talking to Becca
me talking to Nikki
Me cold
me eating ramen
me talking to Becca again
Me getting the Homecoming? picture
Me cold again
me gotta go potty
me sharing too much info.

me needing to do homework
Me signing off with a picture for you:

I love how I just noticed the cigarette under the E string...wait is it E? I dont remember...cause isnt it E A D G B E?

It's a dusty guitar. Me and Sonny are in a gang. the dusty guitar gang. Except he actually plays (kiss me i'm contagious. He plays on there) and I cant. But I will start practising this week. Promise.

me saying I love you. But taking it back.

Someone get me to the doctor| and someone call the nurse| And someone buy me roses| and someone burn the church

2006-05-07T11:41:00.000+12:00

Today we'll become sinners.
Today we'll remain the same
One day we'll take a looking
and then we'll realise.

Highschool isnt forever.
Things change
We'll make a name of ourselves
and lose the names we made,
highschool isnt forever.
Highschool is a small time period
Four years and we're gone.
It doesnt matter much.
Just pass, go and collect your $200
Queen St. is a scholarship.
Mackay St. is going on benefit.
I'll be happy with a Trafalgar, a Fenton or even a Dee St.
Let's stop the Monopoly Comparisons.

Drop me in a comma...A very special Coma.
We'll make a name of ourselves and a mockery of you.
You succeed now but will your brains get you through the next four years. The next Fourty years?
I maybe doing ok now I'm sure my wit will see
That getting me through life is how I succeed.
Drop some Q's and put up some A's.
Life will be easy if you stay in time.

Box step. Lead with right.
Start saving and start planning. For next year it is time.
We'll be adults.
We'll be drunks.
We'll be educated.

Early sunsets over Monroeville have nothing over late night star gazing from where we're at.

Still asleep. Still typing.
Let's hope we break the phase.
Let's hope the stores let us leave.
Our order isnt done.
The store is open but not.
This old rush of blood to my head...seems to have a new touch.
It leaves me wanting more.
It leaves me curious.
It leaves you wanting more.

Understand this? Give me a call.
We'll make arrangements for next time.
Cryptic people...do they belong together.
That was either a question written wrong or a statement.

Grammatical errors are my friend.
You are my foe.
And yet I make more mistakes with you then with my writing.

Wolves in wolves' clothing

2006-05-06T17:54:00.000+12:00

Oh boy...Oh boy oh boy oh boy.
Had work today. Got lunch and got a mix at the swet factory...I love jellybeans but I didnt have enough money so I got me Gummy stuff. I spent 5.30 on it and it was like 1.75 per 100 grams...I'm nearly done with it.

I'm gonna puke I feel so grossed out right now. Its blargh.
*GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN*
Sick.
That is all.
I wanna puke
I wont puke on you
Hugs?

I'm O-fucking-kay

2006-05-05T21:27:00.000+12:00

Can you guess what this post is about?
Hmmmm?
Can you?
Can you?
Well...I totally feel like Mark Hoppus podcast 14 right now.
Stupid one way conversations.

So went to Botany. Grabbed Nikki's present. Got it wrapped. Got a card. Sweetie, you're gonna love them both. And me.
Visited Chris *said in swoony voice* before and we had a small chat. Work related...POO but still...he's cuteish I guess...Whatever Ivy stop having crushes on people you bad bad crush whore you. CrushXcore
So yeah and I got LIFE ON THE FUCKING MURDER SCENE!
I'm watching it now...Its de-fucking-licious.
Yes I like the word FUCK.
Its hard not too.

So yeah that's my day. In a cookie well I came home talked to Becca, had dinner and the likes.
Havent perved at anything all day. Was all "Thanusha he's hot" and "I'm the queen of the back of the bus. Big burly guys dont come near me cause I will kick your ass"

I just stole spicy popcorn from my brother...I feel like Mac and cheese for some reason.
its goooood.
The popcorn not the non exhistant macandcheese.

I've decided to pick up guitar again. I've figured that I'm not letting anyone else down but myself and letting myself down is not cool. So I might think of a timetable. Say three times a week afterschool I'll practise and also an hour every sunday. I think yeah its good.
I have three disc of this dvd to get through. I'm on disc one the diary one...It's gonna be brilliant.

So peeps. I might not be online much this weekend. I've got heaps of homework to do. I've got wait let me list it:
Math page 17. Inequations. Algebra.
English essay on one of the two questions given on ONE character that I am only allowed to use once.
History assessment task 1.
- Write another question
- Find four sources.

So yeah. Sorry peoples. I'm booked.
With work tomorrow as well I might not be online. But I still heart you all. I think this terms gonna be a stressful one for me. I think I have midyear exams right? Someone tell me...meh I'll look at the planner tomorrow.

I got the NME with P!ATD in it. I dont like how they say P!@TD... PaNiK!@daDiSKo
Yeah word to that shit...NOT

Sorry. Yeah I know. You miss cryptic Ivy. Well Ivy's not feeling cryptic. She's joined Mock UN at school. One of my Fridays and one of my Saturdays are being given up for this thing.

Note: Kidnap Gerard and steal his clothes. Decided whether or not to return him to Mikey...I'm not saying I have a 'crush' on him. Cause I'm a Bert Girl. Ok kidding. I just want his clothes. Gerard can be my friend...we can do each other's hair and makeup and paint our nails. Get manis and pedis and we can gossip about people.
We'll be best friends. Best Girly friends. We can be Divas.

*hugs Gerard*
Its ok bubbsies.

Yeah I like that word. Its cute. Everyone say Gerard. That's a cool word too.

Sorry yeah

You know what I noticed...I'd hate to have to wash MCR's clothes...cause they BLEED on stage. Blood is a bitch to clean out causeidontknowhow Yeah so whatever.
I hope I never work for band, I'm not saying that's my aim I'm just saying IF I ever do, I hope that I never work for a band that's laundry I'll have to do...I mean that's gross...my blood I'm fine with. The bands...that's kinda weird but STRANGERS blood on the band member...Just insane. But working for a band would be awesome.

So yeah. Ivy's happy. I need to get some newspapers for *coughcoughcough*

Ook so we're all sick of me talking out of my ass.
Lets thank everyone for Gerard's soberness. He looks like a fuckup wasted.
I'm done with this shit.
SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHI SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT There its out of my fucking system.

Peace out peeps.

oh the weather today: Its cold and its rainy and Ivy needs someone to cuddle up to. For reals.
*whispers* emos please line up. Hot emos get to jump the line

gonna ask you a series of questions| and I want it answered on the spot right now

2006-05-04T17:40:00.000+12:00

Ivy, The FBR store is open. Will you be ordering the Merch today?

No, Ivy will infact be ordering the merch at a later date. Closer to June 16th as the CIWWAF album's preorders wont be sent out till then. This allows Sha and Ivy to save up more money to buy Merch.

Ivy, What are you buying from the store?

Well I am buying:
1X Dirty is not my homeboy T-shirt
1X Fall Out Boy is for lovers T-shirt
1X Paramore Badge
1X The Hush Sound badge
1X Release The Bats vol. 1 dvd
1X Same Old Blood Rush With A New Touch cd. Cute Is What We Aim For

of course there are more orders to come.
Total: US$ 54.oo without postaging.

Ivy, Can I please order something with you?

Of course my dear. Just email me and tell me what you want and I'll put it through. Be prepared to pay more postaging if you buy more items.

Ivy, Arent you excited about the preorders?

I'm so excited I've decided to hold out on you. I'm evil like that.

Ivy, What are you listening to right now?

When I think about angels- Cute Is What We Aim For

Ivy, What's the tracklisting?

Why Should I tell you? No, here it goes:
(courtesy of FBR)

Aint it hot?
It is.
Like the band. But that's a plus. And we know it.

Butterscotch candy = awesomeness

Ok lame Schuster jokes:

if Destiny's Child kicked Beyonce out and put me in. They'd cal me seanceye (ryhmes)

My familia sits around singing Earth, Wind and Fire's 'We are family' cause my last name Is Pham. We sit around singing 'we are phamily'

Schuster= LAMER
Sorry Sir but you are,
Nerdy Pete Peen Pics > Schuster

Thats it for the days Q&A. Peace Out

Now I think we’re taking this too far| Don’t you know that it’s not this hard?

2006-05-02T20:33:00.000+12:00

Just for the record, the weather today: down pour of heavy breathes and a slight chance of a smile.

So me and my brother just had a fight. It's one of our annual 'wars' It's all fun and games till someone gets in trouble from mom or dad yells at us to stop before my glasses break.
It started off at dinner. He was still eating and I was done. I walked past him and pulled his hood way down over his face and then he did his hand snake jabby thing and then it became a pillow fight crossed with me armed with a fly swat. Dad made us stop because it moved from the dining table to the couches to the dining table again and my dad and sister were sitting there. We even ran into his bedroom and ensuite at one point.
It was fun though. I'm out of breath at the moment.

So not much has happened. Just some stuff that really makes me angry and I mean I'm not really that violent. I mean sure I'll slap a few people threaten others but really I dont believe in actually fist to cuffs fighting. It's just there are some people that really do piss me off right now. I've told people around me to keeo the other person away from me or else I'll start closing the cd drawer and putting on my football paint. And once that's on there's no turning back. I'll get violent and no one wants that at all.
So there have been warnings even aplogies to the person about it. Well not to the person I would like to punch but to another and she said ok then. Though I'm sure she's not that proud of it. But hey...That's what I'm like. It's certain things I'm passionate about and when others pretend something about my passion. It gets super personal. It's like someone coming along and kidnapping my niece. I mean sure we dont love each other but I'd protect that kid with my life. She's not gonna get an older brother at all. I'm gonna be the older sibling she never had. I'm gonna fucking take care of the brat. She's had warning about clothes. She knows she's not gonna be a skank cause if she is. Aunt Ivy'll get nasty on her ass.

So yes. Things have been hectic. A little busy. A little broke.
It's time for the cryptic words straight of the word sayer's mouth.
I totally stole that word sayer from Shaant. But what wouldn't I steal from the kid? Joking. He's cute though. Not as cute as Chris mind you.
Oh yeah. ECM's weekday guy = Ivy drooling like a maniac. Word

So we've learnt
We've learnt that Jealousy is the cousin, the cousin of greed.
We've learnt.
We've learnt that I've got the curse of curves
And he's got the gift of one liners
We've learnt a certain short vietnamese girl loves to qoute her CIWWAF
We've learnt that the FBR store is down for maintainance.
We've learnt that the laptop will be on till lates.
Ivy wants that order if it kills her.

So we've learnt all these things.
Let's put it to use.
If you love me
Get me a Paramore badge.
it's hot.

We've learnt that it's 4.46am Tampa time according to timeanddate.com.
And we'll learn that we've got to wait a few more hours till the webstore will probably be open again.
Till then we'll wait.
But it's getting harder as the times pass.
its getting more difficult.
Get ready for riots and tear gas
baby.
This ride isnt gonna last.

When I say its time to dance.
We'll tango the night away.
For now it's time for some algebraic equations
and a little tragic love affairs.

Here's a picture I enjoy.
Boy...it's so good to see some quality musicians...
Shall we name them?

Johnny Christ in the back.
The Reverand (oh just wont go past that. I fear I might get it wrong.)
Zacky Vengeance
Mr. M.Shadows (does anyone else want his grills/fangs?)
And
Synyster Gates...oh yeah...
Fact: Zacky and Syn play back to back because Zacky's left handed and Syn's right. It just looks cooler when they do it like that and because they're ahem ahem ahem

insert IATA lyrics

2006-05-01T16:30:00.000+12:00

Ahhh no internet. Nuff said. Gone emo. be back soon. But seriously. No internet. We'll see if we can fix it soon. Becca check my GJ for shit and uh yeah. Using gay internet cafe thingie at botany. gayness on a stick

Like OMG Teenie Moment!

2006-04-29T12:55:00.000+12:00

Ok so last night. I got bored. And I love Punchline, pumpkin pie...
Anyways so I messaged them via Myspace:

and here's what i got this morning:

Awww yeah...I was giddy. Chris replied. So sweet he didnt have to but he did, I replied but I havent/didnt get a reply back. Who knows he might decide to but let's just say I'm all smiley today. getting hair cut in half an hour. I'll have pic's up later on buzznet.
peace out laters with a proper blog

So suck my so called pity down

2006-04-27T12:08:00.000+12:00

Just for the record the weather today: a storm of screams and a small shower of excrutiating pain.

Word.

So it's time the update.
Remember when Myspace was the place for her to be?
remember when she actually gave a fuck?
Remember when she wasnt so weird
blame the entries that made her sad
Blame the entires that made her pain not go away.

her pain.
Will never be understood.
Shes only ever told one person.
Her closest friends dont even know and yet this one person miles and miles away from her does.
Let's make them feel special.

The digital camera has misplaced it's usb
Pink eyeliner pictures can wait.
They'll probably be posted on the Buzz.
laziness kills me.
I still havent finished the japanese.
Naughty.
dirty thoughts override the clean
desktop is gone.
the laptop is all mine now.
got given a badge:
I flew the eye
my brother got it for me when he went on it.
How sweet. It's always the thought that counts but I wouldn't mind an English Emo.
The accent works well with the sexily sexiness black and hair and gah
Shit I've gotta call John and Cindy and book an appointment for saturday...but the phonebooks downstairs and I'll guess I'll try the whitepages site and i couldnt find anything...it's thursaday i want it cut on saturday..
Mother fucking cramps!

So we've decided since John and Cindy are asian. And even if I make an appointment I'll never get my time right. We're just gonna show up and I'm gonna get it cut...I'm gonna ask mom and dad for money cause I've only got 40 on etfpos.

I feel nauseous...at least I know I'm not pregnant that's for sure...Might as well be god I feel like crap. I feel worthless.

I'm starting something new here. It's a little something that came to me while reading. I should be updating but I'm not cause I suck.

Life’s one giant play. Opening night was the day you were born. Closing night the day you die. You never know who the lead character opposite to you maybe. Every time you make a mistake it’s there forever. You get no second chances. There’s no rehearsal. There’s retake. It’s all live action. So what happens when you meet your opposite lead and you keep screwing up?
What happens when he maybe your lead but you aren’t his?

Word on the street is if this evolves into more...It's gonna be a Derek thing. I dunno...still kinda writing it. It's all up there but the words arent forming how I want them to. Everything's a blur.

Stomach pains are a bitch. I cant laugh. The pain is at its worse everr.

take currrr kids.
If I die tomorrow, I'd die in pain.
Preorder the CIWWAF album at FBR next week. Wednesday for me, tuesday for others.
Whoever else orders it...we can make babies together.
We'll be the talk of the town
everyone will hate us.
We'll make them so jealous we'll make them hate us
It'sa FOB song. I was having FOB's super friends club listening day and it came on.
laters.
loves.
peaces.

A hurricane. A tornado. A forest fire. A falling piano|From out of a window. Where ever she goes. Pure disaster surely follows

2006-04-24T18:43:00.000+12:00

Just for the record the weather today: Slightly idiotic with a good chance of lethargy

So mom and dad just left for a party at their friends house. I'm home alone...STOP LOOKING AT ME WITH THOSE BINOCULARS!
Anyways so last night's dinner was those Vietnamese pancake thingies I'm obsessed with and there was some left over meat...Yeah I'm one hot carnivore.
So mom goes to me "Make sure you feed the dog and if you get hungry there's the meat from last night. You can cook yourself a stir fry or whatever"
I go "yeah sure whatever"
She leaves and I go feed the dog. I'm getting her stuff out of the fridge with her bowl in one hand and the other in the fridge. Instead of grabbing her food I grab the bowl that I was supposed to eat from and tip it into her bowl...Yeah so I ended feeding the dog my food but luckily I'm not hungry so it's ok.

On with the rest of the news.

I'm a nerd. Yeah I am. Socially outcasted nerd...dont ask. I just am. Pete Wentz thinks he's a nerd. I bet you I'm bigger.
Pete nerd < Ivy nerd

Sha is gonna hook us up with mags arent you doll?
P!ATD is released may 1st and I write sins May 8th...Sha's a doll for telling me
I love how ahead of the game we are...NOT!

Daniel wants guyliner. I feel weird by giving him it cause personally most guys with short near bald blonde hair and pale skin shouldnt wear eyeliner but what ever. Nikki feels that he will...I really truly dont but what the hey I need to rid of my cheap eyeliner I cant use anyway. It'll be my charity work in a way. Giving to the eyeliner needy.

I'm feeling sexy only cause I'm clean. And cleansed and toned but not yet moisturised. I've had toothpaste on my face for that damn zit which now that I think about has ruined my mood.

Who here think's Quinne is hot? *coughBeccacough*

Miss Quinne

Ooh and one of my favs.
Brody Dalle I'm not calling her Brody Homme cause Chris KILLED HER...she was better off with Tim but that's because to me Rancid > Queens of the stone age. That's right. Red's wrong. Rancid is better.
Bask

Oh and the last lady?
I would stick a picture up BUT you all know you'd die from her sexily sexiness.
She knows I'm on about her.
Becca Dear you know ily like woah!
so yeah on with the show!

That's all I got for now folks.
I'm gonna wait and see how long it takes her to either comment and tell me I'm wrong or comment and tell me we should jump each other...Who knows...
Man I feel like pie right now (OMG I just went into hysterics and only Nikki, Ashley and Bevelin really no why...Oh and the junior kids and maybe Kimberly but that's another story)

I had a dream

2006-04-21T21:18:00.000+12:00

Funnily enough we talked about strippers today...it coincided with my dream.
I was a stripper. I personbally blame the P!ATD clip for it. I was a masked stripper named Harlequin and nobody ever saw my face...and I never went out of underwear though thank god. I would've been scared in my dream.

I also dreamed I had a pet lion and a small fluff ball dog like Ziggy.
And we went to oh I cant be stuffed going into deets.
Hit me up if you wanna read it. But it was a weird dream. Personally I like the stripper one more cause I had money and a pole... wait whaat?

Punk isnt dead...

2006-04-20T20:54:00.000+12:00

My mini rant.//::\
Now people always say "Punk is dead the *insert word here*'s killed it!"
Usually that *insert word* is either Poser, Poseur, Goths, Emo blah blah blah and so forth. You get my point.
Punk infact in my opinion isn't dead. It's there. And all those people that say that...are well just plain lazy.
They stay in their homes. On their laptops. Bitching away at punknews.com (or .org) or smartpunk.com forums going "Oh all those kids who fell in love with GC have ruined punkrock for ever. Those GC kids have ruined punk. Simple plan arent punk!" and RADEEFUCKINGDAH!
Look peoples. Punk isnt dead.
get your eyes away from the screen, get your asses into some pants (and who says they have to be bondage?) run some gel (or criscos and KY lube ala Sid Vicious...if you like him) or notthrough your hair. Pull on a jacket (hey just cause you're a punk doesnt mean you want a cold.) and head outside. Go look for a show. Dont wait for the show to come to you. Dont wait for Rancid (album due out 2007 apparently) to come touring your town for a good show. Dont want for the Misfits and stuff. Go out and look for the shows. Head to local clubs, walk till you hear music. Walk till you find something worth listening too. Heck if it's a garage band that sucks...Do it. Listen to them. What harm can it do? Nothing. That's right. No harm.
Seriously. I mean sure waiting for a popular band to visit your country and then going to the concert and moshing like there's no tomorrow is a sweet fucking deal BUT however when the band comes is the unknown. I mean sure Rancid have toured here, NOFX have toured here, Joe Strummer and the Mescaleros have toured here heck Iggy and the Stooges have toured here but when will that chance actually come again? Strummer came in 2000, Rancid a while before that. That's if my memory serves me right. I mean come on peoples.

Punk isnt dead. You're just not looking hard enough. I mean what is really the definition of punk rock? I mean to me it means a band or person that is willing to think outside if the box, has good riffs, lyrics that speak to me and dont give a fuck about other people's opinions. Maybe your definition is different but really do you think I REALLY give a fuck about your opinion?
If you said yes...then you are wrong my freaky reader. Utterly wrong.

Yeah you dont matter. All that matter's is the music.
Now someone go out and get me the NOFX EP with the Jesus on the cover.

Boys like you | are a dime a dozen

2006-04-19T16:23:00.000+12:00

The weather today: Slightly depressed with a shower of smiles

I think I maybe over this entire ordeal.
David Melillo does a girl good.
Personally the lyrics make me think he would be the sweetest guy ever.
But basing personalities off lyrics is like basing love off of looks.
You're either wrong or wrong.

Currently listening to: A lot of things you should be listening.
Popping: these things like a bad habit
Cuddling: nothing but that pillow
Wanting: to disappear off the face of the earth
Never: Really wanted to feel this way
Wishing: they would go away.

We all wanna naked peekaboo with Beckett, Butcher and Schleprok.
Yeah word to that.

This morning someone had stolen Dad's palms. His prized palms that he loves more then his kids. All three of them. Ripped out of the pots. He was sad when we told him. We assume its the builders or some asian people. Yeah they know the plants. It means a lot in asian society those damn trees.

David Melillo > You
<3
him.

Bored out of my mind.
Constantly reminded of the stupid homework I have to do. I'll start tomorrow.
Becca if you read this. I might not be online till later tomorrow then I was today.
If you're not reading this. I'll email you tonight.

I'm here if you wanna call me.
Digits that follow 02240122
Minused the first three digits for your viewing pleasure.

I wanna play some naked peekaboo
I wanna play some naked peekaboo
I wanna play some naked peekaboo
I wanna play some naked peekaboo
I wanna play some naked peekaboo
I wanna play some naked peekaboo ooh ohh

Amazing what three guys with some alcohol and instruments can do.

Here's something for my viewing pleasure:

Beckett. Pucker up kiddies.
Sometime next week. I might do a hot girl post. I dont know yet. We'll see.
We'll see.

Popped to many at once and now I feel ill.
I've got business to attend to.
We'll talk later.

Just come out and say it: You love me like a bad habit

2006-04-18T12:14:00.000+12:00

That's how everyone views me.
The bad habit
The thing that wont go away.

These mints I got. I'm addicted.
Addicted to them like I am your smokes.
Smoking isnt for the faint hearted.
Luckily I am.

The Finger is still aching.
Stomachache-ing
Getting into some Halifax.
Getting out of your pants.

Shaant, Tom, Jeff and Fred havent replied to the message I sent them. Maybe the article isnt meant to be.
I'm planning a questionaire.
Gather round all.
Questions galore.
I want answers from all.

H.A.G (Heterosexuals Against Girls I think) have some competition.
Co-founder of G.A.G (Girls Against Guys)
Shaant and Cheyne let's brawl it baby.
They say girls can be hags. Some boys make me wanna gag and not the nice kind.

We's be tight.
We's be a gang.
Gangs are for lamers.
But this lamer does it the best way.

My tongue is permanently on fire
You're kisses are cold.
I've seen the light.
I've walked away.
Clandestine Razorblade necklace.
I want it.
Hook us up!

A little HIM a little more Bartskull
We want it in silver not in the gold.
I'm golden as it is.

Playing songs from a playlist I created.
Half the tracks unknown.
Studiorien
Color of Violence
Songs like The Beam
Make me smile,
Make me laugh.
Troll boy needs to control his hair.
He is after all looking like a troll.
Trollboy AKA Ponyboy.

Listening to some Yellowcard.
Life of a salesman.

You're gone for the time.
I might head for a nap.
Email box keeps playing up.
Dont you just hate it?
Dont you just hate life?
Dont you just me?

Just loverly

2006-04-17T09:49:00.000+12:00

OK ok today's post consist of me posting pictures of hot guys cause I can.they'll be the usual dark haired man vixens, short little troll kids, a certain dirty bassist and even a stick wielding redhead.
We'll see. Or maybe I should keep this strictly FFTL...Yeah ok why not.
So maybe we wont go for a certain dirty bassist...mainly cause they dont have a permanent bassist yet...I'd volunteer but A) I dont play bass. If I did B) My parents wouldnt allow me to go on tour for months on end with four other guys who are older then me. Yeah she wouldnt. And C) I wouldnt play bass I'd drool. I'm willing to admit that. I would drool and they would fall and hurt themselves.
So yeah thank god or not that I dont play bass for FFTL.
Let's shake it like a salt shaker bitches:

We'll start off with...Hmmm...Travis Richter.
I got no stats on the boys so deal.

Travis...thinking that public indency is a crime.

Mr Matt Good (Oh I'm sure he is)
According to AP. The guy's homeless when he's not on tour...my door is always open Matt.
AHHHHH it wont let me upload Matt Good!!

Ok ok we'll cut all the middle man stuff.

I present to you the hottest red head in town:
Derek Bloom.
Derek is 22 years old. He is the drummer for FFTL

Yeah I love a man that can multi-task like that.

Watch me drool

...ASS

Could you just see him going "Yay! My ass!"? Or is that just me?
And my personal Favourites:

So what do these pictures tell you? Derek can fit stuff in his mouth and and he gets kissed by Sonny..

I fixed the problem ok here: BASK

Ok yeah I dont know why but I heart that one

Sonny Mooorrreeeeeee

See Sonny knows that smiling is free

Ok and that's it...
Well just one more

Sex

Yeah I know...Hot.
Love me
I'll post diffferent ones some other time.
We need to cure her boredom
we need to jumop her bones
we need to
we need to
we need to
FIRE UP THE SEX

Listening to:
HBG
IATA
SA
And
TBS

Hot emo kid

2006-04-15T16:31:00.000+12:00

*drools*
He was fucking hot. Fucking sexy hot. Sexily sexy hot.

Let's start from the beginning
*does the dream sequence fingers*

OK we decided to head into town. I told Nikki the news and she comforted me. We were gonna head to Glen eden so I could look at some band tees. Spent an hour or so on the train getting there only to find we had to get on a shuttle bus to get us to Glen Eden. The bus didnt come. We waited over half an hour before we said fuck it and went back to Britomart.
There at britomart as we climbed off the train was this DROP DEAD FUCKING SEXING UP HIS TIGHT BAND TEE AND WORKING THE EMO HAIR was this Emokid. He was sexy. Sonny Moore hair, tight shirt no girlpants but not everyone has 120 for some lee skinnyjeans. So I understand. He walked passed and I was like *drops jaw on ground* *eyes bulged out of head* *heart bounces out of chest* He was a fine specimen of an Emo. Fine indeed.

We went to real groovy. The chances of us seeing Mr. Groove were slim but BUT we did. We saw him as I paid for my Hush Sound and my AP with FFTL on the cover. The guy was looking up HGB's dvd for me and Groove walked pass. We were like "OMG OMG OMG OMG IT'S RYAN GROOVE!" And just freaking out silently. He was hotter than last time but not as hot as Emokid.

Yes, today was eventful. On the train to GE and there was this guy that kept looking at me. Freaky...and yeah. There was something else too. I just cant remember it. I guess it wasnt important.

Oh and now I own both covers of AP. With P!ATD and FFTL.
And Shaant Hacikyan is his name...How the hell do you say the last name? Haksickyan? I dunno. Whatever. He's cute though.

Sugar| You break hearts| I mend them| Then dent them

2006-04-14T09:20:00.001+12:00

I spent the entire night perfecting chapter 14. I read it on the page and it had all those annoying questions marks, so stupid. But now it's alllllll good.

Woke up this morning. Pants were missing. Woke him up. Got dressed.
Nothing happened. My pants are just loose and I didnt tie the drawstrings.
Dirty perverts

No qouting of lyrics today. I was gonna blog the scary dream I had. But I seem to have forgotten it.
We're gonna go to the beach later apparently.

I'm not a beach person.
I'm more of a dark place bad ideas person.
Yeah that's right.

Went out to dinner. Got 'kung pao'
not that bad.
We stole a bunch of lollypops from the counter when we paid. Yeah we's all be a bunch of kids at heart.
Still digital cameraless. Still camerawhoreless

My finger hurts. All that pushing and pulling and pressing down hard last night made it sore.
Sick perverts.
It was the mouse scroll.

Still listening to FOB. I just changed the tracklisting to Morningwood and FUCT.

That's all I'm posting for now.
Post more tomorrow.
And Daniel. I'm better looking. Dont deny it. And you know who...doesnt like me. He told me he didnt in a txt.
So here's what was said:
"So what's this I hear about you not having and legs and me being air? You know you love me XOX. You know its true <3">"Na"
"You know you love me dont deny it"
"Keep dreaming"
"psht now now no need for dreams"
"That's why I wasnt"
"You know I'm telling the truth. Anyways stop having buttsex and be nice to me"
"What do you mean by nice?"
"Yeah now no more mean jokes like 'I wanna chop your legs off' let's call a truce. You be nice to me and i'll be nice to you"
"Yeah whatever"
"Woo! anyways you can go back to whatever you were doing. Laters XOX. Let me tell you taking the bus is not fun at all"

So there.
He doesnt like me. Time to find someone who does,
Too bad I'm just the girl that no one cares about...
We all want a person to love and hold us.
We all wanted to have someone to whisper sweet nothings in our ear.
You're parents taught you wrong kid.
There's no such thing as love
Just F E A R
Yeah that's right.
I stopped believing in Love when you left.
But there is a sliver of a chance that it'll be making a comeback.
But the chances are slim. S L I M
Something I'm not.

yeah Fat kid

EDIT: we never went to the beach. Tili had to babysit Brendon/randon
So he's been here all day. Cute kid.
She made him over. Green and red eyeshadow and black eyebrows, whiskers and an indian dot.

Listening to new bands today.
I discovered them in like the past hour and a half.
Shimmy shimmy quarter turn bitches.
Cause I am the avalanche and I make a mess like nobody's business.
That is my american dream.
Hellogoodbye...farewell

Upped my picture count. FBRF rule. So many pictures there. That and that chick's PB. Ask for link it shall be posted.

I used to like a guy whose father did drugs.
His mom was super sweet as was his sister.
This kid and I. We did things no 9 year old should even know about. But that's cause he was older.
Now he's a badass.
Roaming the streets of Aus.
And everytime he's in town.
I'n nowhere to be found.

16 going on extinct

2006-04-13T16:16:00.000+12:00

XOX and I have called a truce.
If he's nice then I'm nice cause he told Nick he wanted to chop my legs off.
I told him I wanted his legs and he told Nick:
According to Nick
"Tell her I dont have legs, I mean dont tell her that. tell her she's just a waste of space and that she's just air with a form...." and stuff.
I swear to god this boy runs me round in circles but I still have a thing for him.
Let's hope I'm not the girl that goes for the assholes of the world. Hope.

Mr Vanderpeet qouted FOB without knowing it today. I was all 'OMG you FOB lover you! You're so scene. I'm gonna stay away from the scene now cause you're into it. So uncoool' and just being a real dick. But he told it was an old WWII saying. Hint hint. Loose lips sink ships.
Listening to FOB right now infact. Chicago is so two years ago.
You know I love this song.

Accidentally deleted AIM off my laptop...idiot. I'll need to restart it later.

Yup so back to me and XOX. We're trucing it. I'm sick of fighting.

Today, I gotta admit it. I am getting nauseous with all the lovey dovey crap those two PDA at each other. I kept trying to get away. I'm feeling sick in the stomach as it is having two people gush over me is not needed. I'd like to keep my lunch down thank you very much.
I mean I moved from the benches to the deck. They followed. I moved from the benches and walked around the school and they followed holding hands and then I moved from the deck back to the benches and they followed. And I know she wasnt doing it on purpose but dude...I fucking hate pdas. I mean really. No one needs to know about your relationship with whatshisface. Personally I think pdas should die and just die.
Anyways maybe I'm just spiteful/lonely or whatever. But really. Dont be rubbing it in.

And some people need to just chillax with me.
I think I'm either pregnant or fucking hungry.
Make your pick.

Burping is never fun.

Time to qoute the song:

1. "I hope you choke on those words, that kiss, that bottle - confess
Now ask yourself out on the insides, when I said I loved you I swear I lied.

Let's play this game called 'when you catch fire'
I wouldnt piss to put you out
Stop burning bridges and drive off of them
So I can forget about you"

2. "Bury me standing under your window with the cinder block in hand
Yeah cause no one will ever feel like this again
And if I could move I'm sure it would only be to crawl back to you
I must have dragged my guts a block... they were gone by the time we
(talked)...

I want to hate you half as much as I hate myself
But you know I could crush you with my voice

-------------
Stand on my roof and tried to see you forgetting about me
Hide the details I dont want to know a thing

I hate the way you say my name like its something secret
My pen is the barrel of the gun. Remind me which side you should be on

I wish I was as invisible as you make me feel."

3. "I sat outside my front window...this story's going somewhere:
"He's well hung." and I am hanging up.
Well there's a song on the radio that says:
"Let's get the party started."
So let's get this party started.

What you do in your own time's just fine.
My imagination's much worse, I just never want to know.
And what meant the world had folded like legs and fingers holding onto what
escapes me; what he has: a better kiss that never lasts.

You said, between your smiles and regrets: "Dont say its over."
Dead and gone"

4. "My heart ticks with these kids that i grew up with, living like life's
going out of style
You came to watch us play...like a "Big shot talent," but at the end of the day,
you know where we came from and where we call home

---------

They'll say it's not worth it. So we'll leave this town in ruin. living like life's
going out of style.
You came to watch us play...like a "Big shot talent," but at the end of the day
you know those busted lips we take back home.

I know you would be there either way. I'm so glad it seems like these times
will never fade. So I'll tell everyone how much this means to me."

And the last one:

5. "I'm holding it an I'm holding on to every letter and every grudge.
I pulled myself out of the day we ever had to meet.
Are you through with me?

When it all goes to hell will you be able to tell me you're sorry with a
straight face.

I'm all ears and I'm all scars to hear you tell me "Boys like you try so
hard not to look desperate."
I'm hanging on. But I still know the wat to make your makeup run.

Take this to your grave and I'll take it to mine."

Yeah go out and get "Take this to your grave" by Fall Out Boy.
2nd album bitches.

That;s it for my blog, I was gonna TYPE read it TYPE up all the lyrics but like I said in an earlier blog. Typing it will ruin half the fun.
Learn to sing the wrong lyrics to a song. It makes getting to know the lyrics twice more fun. Why do you think I listen to an album at least twice before I even go to a lyric site?

Song credits:
1. "Tell that Mick he just made my list of things to do today" (Track 1.)
2. The pros and cons of breathing (Track 8.)
3. Calm before the storm (Track 10.)
4. Grenade Jumper (Track 9.)
5. The patron saints of liars and fakes (Track 12.)

Take this to your grave - Fall Out Boy (www.falloutboyrock.com)
2003
Fueled by Ramen (www.fueledbyramen.com)

All songs written by written and recorded by:

Fall Out Boy
Lyrics:
Patrick Stump & Pete Wentz

Sexy beastalities of morks (man dorks)

M O M O R M O R N I N G W O O D

2006-04-12T16:30:00.000+12:00

Yeah it's been in my head all fucking day.
Math test: Mormormorningwood to the nth degree!
Japanese speech practice: Disco Heavy Metal Angel
English creative writing assessment: TO THE NTH DEGREE!
Luckily now that I'm home it's The Used.

Blue and Yellow.
That song is brilliante
Anyways back to blogging. Too many distractions.

XOX
Sweet
Not
Wants
Needs
You

So today Daniel had index stickers or whatever they're called.
I wrote Ivyspoon and stuck it on my chest and on my folder.
I walked into english last period and Sean goes to me 'Spoony"
I gagged and just walked away.
Then Mrs Truder goes to me "Child what is that on your jersey" I blushed and went Ivyspoon.
Sean said dont ask she said she didnt want to know.
that guy is CREEPY
I need someone to protect my ass from him.
No one needs a creepy looker guy.

I keep getting distracted. Personally I blame that guy that's in the velvet bag in my closet.
He keeps screaming for help or is that sex? Joking.

Anyways keeping this short for the day.
Blog qouta has been filled.
Time for the raw ramen meal.
tasty

Take take take take take take it away

2006-04-11T20:47:00.000+12:00

Life's greatest questions have always been: Who am I? Where did I come from? Why am I here? Where am I going? You are about to see and hear one of the most significant messages given to us from God.

Get down
Wooooooo!
Get down

I'm lying to myself

And this dagger's my excuse

I'm a pawn

I Should have paid up

And I left an hour late

I was laid up

I must abuse myself

I'm against all that I've made up

Set in stone the sun will come

And I hate light

You know I hate light

To me it looks so pretty burning

Burn the sun

Burn the light

Take take take take take take it away

Take my hand

Take my life

Take take take take take take it away

I must have caught something

In the heat of all these dances

I'm a worm with no more chances

And I've lost all doubt

In a chemical romance

I can't stop itching

over thoughts of tarnished hope

kinda funny

lonely feeling

I'm not in love

You know it's not love

Don't make it look so pretty burning

Burn the sun

Burn the light

Take take take take take take it away

Take my handTake my life

Take take take take take take it away

Burn the sun

Burn the light

Take take take take take take it away

Take my hand

Take my life

Take take take take take take it away

Brothers and sisters

I'm right here with you

Cause everyone's got one

A story to kill meI'm so apathetic in my resentment

Living, loving, knowing not

Take my hand [x8]

Take my life

Take my heart take my mind

Take my life take my life

Burn the sun

burn the light

Take take take take take take it away

Take my hand take my life

Take take take take take take it away

Burn the sun

burn the light

Take take take take take take it away

Take my hand take my life

Take my life

Take my life!

http://www.theused.net
Take it away- In love and death
2004
Reprise records.

"Lately Heaven knows why. I feel the song saves me. Maybe it's the lack of pills I've been popping.
Maybe it's the lack of hearts I've been a breaking
The lover of lies
The breaker of hearts.
tis be taking a rest.
Till death do us part"

Dont make it look so pretty burning!

2006-04-11T16:02:00.000+12:00

She's never going to be that bright spark that once shone brightly at night,
She's the kid getting prescribed the wrong pills.
The wrong pills.
She's the emo minus the drugs
Minus the slit my wrist and die.
Just watch, when she falls...
No one's going to catch her.
Trying is useless.
She's going to fall.
She's going to hurt.
Talking isnt going to help.

Listening to the Used.

It seems to help a little.
Buried myself alive.
It's what she's done.

And she'll do it again.
It's been said.
Just watch.
You dont know her like you think you do,
What you know maybe a lie.
Does she even know who she really is?

Doubt it.
The cards are dealt with.

She cant look.
The games going to end soon.
Again.
Just watch.

When she falls.
Leave her.
It's best for her to bleeding on the bathroom floor
than ruining your white sheets.

you took it back

you ripped my heart out of me then you put it back

I'm pulling my hair

I let you just a million times

I love you even though it isn't fair

Dont you just heart the Used?
Lyrics could be posted again but in doing so might ruin your experience.

All prepared to fail.
All set to flail.

Dont forget to set the timer.
Life doesnt wait for anyone.
Set the timer.
She's going down.
She's going down.
She's going down.

That time we said we loved each other.
I bet you were lying.
I'll see you next spring.
We'll talk then.
It's long overdue
Sweetheart.
The summer's ending.
Secrets have commenced.
Lies have started falling.
Those pink lips are moving
Lightening speed.
Yet nothing slips out
Just the same old lies fed
day in
day out.
It doesnt get old.

you love infact.

She wanted a love.
She wanted a life.
All she got was a little misleading.
A little few tears
the heartache isnt worth the heartgain.
She'd rather be lonely then have her heart break
over and over again.

P.s. who the fucks Helda?

The writings gotta get a move on. She feels bad, her emo self isnt what it used to be.

...gotsa booboo today

2006-04-10T17:57:00.000+12:00

So school...BLARGH
Then shopping...YAY!
Yeah, only time I get girly is when I shop for cds and posters and band tees...such a fucking lamer!
So we went shopping at Botany and I got me a MCR poster...totally forgetting I already have two large ones at home...I think if there was a new The Used one I would've gotten it too so I'd have THREE. Umm yeah I got a Used one then realised I already had one...but this one was totally hot and different.
I was gonna get the NOFX dvd. It was $40 and I was like ....Uh that's my paycheck...I dont know. So I didnt get it. If someone has it tell me what it's like. Is it worth it? (Lyk Totally!)
We went to Whitcoulls and I got me BLUNT and then Nikki and Daniel ditched me and went upstairs. I went upstairs and they came down. I went down the up escalator and fell. It grazed my entire leg see look:

Yeah it's not really clear but it's a picture from my phone...I'm digital cameraless for another week.
Damn me and my camera whoreness. It's not healthy.

Break starts this week. Friday till two weeks after friday. Whatever that is.

Ok gossip time.

So taoday in history we were talking about how apparently if you kill a nation's leader it is considered worse than any other crime. I talked about if someone went out and killed a bunch of Jews or if someone killed the Pope.
Kimberly told me to shut up. I thought she said gay pope. She got angus at me. You're Christian...isnt that slightly different to Catholic?
She called me spoilt...this coming from the 16year old who lives alone, has wireless and shoes that cost $120. Oh yeah I'm spoilt cause you know...having to save up for everything, paying for everything I want by myself and having to work is being SPOILT.
I think she needs to look it up in a dictionary instead of telling me to look up BIBLICAL WHEN I WAS RIGHT ABOUT THE MEANING.
*breathes*
someone needs to tell her to stop singing with that high pitched voice. It's not pretty

And AND AND
Why do my spidey sense tell me that there is a near HOOK (us) UP in the future?
hmmm Nikki and Daniel...If I can see it...it might just happen. Who knows awfully close. Sketchy sketchy dirty dirty.

I have to write my japanese speech. I have less than 48 hours to write and memorize it...Whose failing? I AM!
Uh yeah join the club.

My feet hurt. I got all wet today at school from the rain. The entire front of my skirt was drenched and gross. We had an umbrella but it didnt really help. Just gack.
After school we waited for the bus and even started a love letter (with correct grammar, ((we'll get GRAMMAR POLIZE ON YOUR ASS FOO!)) mind you) for him but the bus came so we went. I paid Nikki on the bus so she came with us. Shopped, met the world's most dirtaiest magician. We asked him if we could try his top hat...yes after the I write sins not tragedies video I've grown an obsession for Top hats and Fedoras (Bat country...Syn...hot hat) and he said no. I kept asking he gave a dentention...we were in uniform but still double you tee eff and then Nikki asked him if he had a wand. He said he did and then something about that being the best offer he's had all day...ok ewwww he's around toddlers all day. Nikki stole chocolate from his bunny for Daniel.

Ok that's my blog. More bitchings when I'm not in so much pain...ok I'm not but I gotta end it somehow. Oh boy my leg stings like a whore with a urine infection...nutgobbler much? Man that episode of South Park rocked so bad...it rocked...it just ROCKED.

go read webcomics. I love them. Nerdy but good pictures.
That's supposed to say I less than three Ivy too.

Drum rolls are overrated but give me one anyway

2006-04-09T12:36:00.000+12:00

Meh, see myspace was bugging me. I could tell people were viewing and that creeped me out. This is better cause:
A) I don't know if people view or not (hopefully)
B) it would be easier to pretend that I don't
C) I don't have to put up a front for people I know who read.
D) or I can pretend that they don't read it.

It's raining. And not the nice kind. It's the cold one, damn I hate it when summer's over. The rain gets colder and harsher and I get sick.
Sick like a DOG.
Gack.
April 9th.
Thursday is the beginning of my two weeks of hopeful freedom. I need to apply at tie Rack for that job.
I'll have two jobs...Is this too much responsibility for me?
Who cares I need the money.
All that merch I'm buying on the FBR site is ridiculous. And trademe.co.nz is taking my cash too.
I hope I win that auction. (if you must ask, it's for Looking for Alibrandi the movie. I haven't seen it. I love the book. I would marry the book but I don't think they allow that here)

Japanese homework is piling up high.
I'm piling down low. Digging myself deeper to get away from it all.
It doesn't seem to work though. I just get more.

The speech has to be 2 minutes. Read it. 2 minutes! I've got like 2 seconds.
I get assessed on Wednesday. I have my Math assessment on that day and the next. And the final day for my English assessment.
Who the hell gives teenagers Assessments on the last week of school. That is bad planning folks. Bad bad planning.
Tards. Honestly. I hope I pass my English. I don't care about the rest. But this is creative writing...I may not be vavoom at it but I think I'm good...Does that sound a tad but vain/conceited? Or is the crap I'm eating (strawberry yogurt...gooood!) making me more confident?

She told me that staying home on the weekends all I do is eat. And that I'll be gaining wait like woah!
I told her to shush and to stop talking about her self cause this bitch has dropped a kilo which is pretty good considering she does nothing. (I was talking about myself. Click!)
She was shocked and shut her mouth.
That's right. Be jealous. That's pretty good weight loss. I haven't reached that place where people go 'Oh yeah I got there and I just stopped losing weight for some reason'
Well I haven't reached there yet. Let me a lose at least a further 10 and then let me reach it.

I love you like a fat kid loves his momma.
But you love me like a fat kid loves fat camp.
It's sad really,
I dreamt of you last night.
I must admit, it creeped me out.
I kissed you. On the cheek.

You told me you hated me. And walked away.
Sadly that's all I remember.

Maybe I still feel for you.

Maybe I don't.

Being a l/o/v/e struck teenager sucks.

We're complete opposites.
but as the saying goes... Opposites attract.
I doubt that's true.
I get a strange feeling things are gonna get weird.

Kimberly knows and you know how she gets.
She's all 'XOX she loves you. She wants to fuck you!"
First of all. I don't know if I love you secondly...I don't fuck when I don't date.
I'm no player and I'm no slut.
I'm a normal kid.

lovers of lies and breaker of hearts
That's how the story goes.
That's how my story ends.

Ivy: crusher extraordinaire

to make me sound sad

So the past few days

Keep taking baby steps

Here to catch you up on me

Has it really been that long?

BDO

Survivor: It takes a brain to be one

its been a summer

bunny

I'll be there when your heart stops beating

Exams

*is blown away*

Snakes on a plane score

Call me naivety. Brand me stupid. Label me Love. Mark me with your kiss

Ivyspoon it| you know you want to|

himynameismark eatyourheartout

habgfwgPANIC!

I'm better then Heychris i just dont know it yet

...

Lets go to the prom| And dance| and dance| and dance| and dance

Its been a summer

I just need time to walk it off| but I can’t do it| I’ll write it on my own time

I hate the ones who love to hate because they're just like me

All I wanted you| All I wanted you| All I wanted you, to make a move

Jealousy's the cousin the cousin of OMG WHAT?!

What's it feel like to be a ghost?

Out of the world | she's grown so fearful of

And we're all choir boys at best intrusive and arrogant

Attention: Attention: Maybe I have all your eyes and ears to the front of the room

So sick

FUCK THAT SHIT I GOT GOOD NEWS!

Happy birthday Mr President

This is a party without the people| this is a show without the sound| so I gave you the clues now find what I found

We all have match| We can make a connection| so when the times comes| just make sure you're paying attention to it

Will we always say we tried?

Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off

So kiss me goodbye| Honey I'm gonna meke it out alive| so kiss me goodbye| I can see the venom in your eyes

Some say love died| Way too many times| when it deserved to be alive

No you cant stop this exodus| no you wont stop this exodus!

says "girly girly you're at your best when you're sober"| And she slurs "no, no just one more"| And one turns into four|

Your memories always caught me like a ghost| To put it nicely I hope you choke

I dont wanna talk talk talk about it!

Part two of Newport Living

You have a moan all of your own| And I can feel it down to the bone

Photographs, I want them back

1 trillion dollars

M|U|N|A

Like walking on broken glass| no answer for what was asked| you're all alone

Where is your boy tonight? I hope he is a gentleman

Infatuations got me going crazy| Desperation makes me stay

Cause I just wanna break you down so badly

Let's play this game called when you catch fire| I wouldn't piss to put you out

It's nice to meet you| Not nice to part| Nice goes a long way in a forgiving heart| You used up your chances| Go find someone else to RUIN

She’s on the floor, someone get help (and she waits)|She lost control, then she lost herself (and she waits)

My life is over

For now let's just pretend| To be the attempt at best friends|

Dont hate me| Forever| I'm better late than never| I failed you| I'm sorry| That's simply my life story

NO

(I) hiphop at Ihop

Birthday Wishlist

So like yeah

It's not enough| its not enough| it's not enough

but its so hard| when you're shallow as a shower| From what I've heard with skin you'll win

Someone get me to the doctor| and someone call the nurse| And someone buy me roses| and someone burn the church

Wolves in wolves' clothing

I'm O-fucking-kay

gonna ask you a series of questions| and I want it answered on the spot right now

Now I think we’re taking this too far| Don’t you know that it’s not this hard?

*insert IATA lyrics*

Like OMG Teenie Moment!

So suck my so called pity down

A hurricane. A tornado. A forest fire. A falling piano|From out of a window. Where ever she goes. Pure disaster surely follows

I had a dream

Punk isnt dead...

Boys like you | are a dime a dozen

Just come out and say it: You love me like a bad habit

Just loverly

Hot emo kid

Sugar| You break hearts| I mend them| Then dent them

is blown away

insert IATA lyrics