We all have match| We can make a connection| so when the times comes| just make sure you're paying attention to it

I thought I was fine. I knew I was fine. I knew that those feelings I had were gone. I thought they were buried 100feet under. Burning in hell. I said mazzeltaff and we vamoosed out of there. I was wrong. Bitterly wrong. They werent gone. They were hiding. Hiding 100feet inside me. Deep down. They were burning my insides. And I didnt say mazzletaff and we never vamoosed. I vamoosed the emotions missed the last call. What's the reason behind this?

Adam. Adam. That guy. Him. Yes. Him.

I thought I was over him. But this week proved me wrong. I saw him more often, those feelings came back and yesterday. We went to the library to do our geo homework and I told Nikki I still might have feelings for him and she told me she didnt want to hear it. Well I'm sorry lady, just because your boyfriend turned out to be a dud doesnt mean that you can be all Anti-Love. She told me she didnt want to hear about me or Nicky's lovelives. Excuse me but I was the one that had to endure your stupid fucking relationship with Daniel and I had to see you guys being all lovey dovey. Just cause you crashed and burned doesnt mean that I have to suffer for it. I'm going through something I hate and you tell me to shut up about it. Fine I'll shut up about it. just never ask me who I like cause I'd hate for YOU to suffer. God knows that's horrible.
So anyways we went into the library and i was like 'yeah I hope i dont see him as much as I do already" and his class is in the fucking library (art design) and we leave. Then come back because the other computer lab is closed. I end up sitting next to him. Luckily too focused to notice. Later when we tell Monique she thought I said he fucked on my work...I WISH!
And today he took MY bus. Ok he had his friends there but still. And he talked about asses and I was like woah! And he sat behind me...and that got my mind whirring like mad. And he kept clicking his phone and the bus was noisy but I still heard his tapping on the side of the window which was kinda annoying because it was right next to my ear.
It was kinda nerve racking. The guy I have this HUGE crush on, behind me, on my bus. And it got me thinking and you know my imagination. It likes to run wild. My mind made up questions like "why is he on the bus? what is he doing here? why isnt he sitting infront of his friends? he could've had that seat easily? why behind me? do I have a sign that says sit here? Was he going to sit next to me? does he think I'm a nerd because of what Nicole said about my bag?" Yeah basically I sat there for the 15minutes and killed myself with thought patterns that I hate.
I got off that bus as quickly as I could and came home and smiled to myself.
Its funny though because everytime I hear the kid talk I start giggling because well...his voice is kinda high pitched and soft...So he looks like Ryan Ross (if not better) but sounds like something off teletubbies...he's good on the eyes not on the ears. I can deal with that. As long as he's fun to be around I guess. If he takes my bus again tomorrow can i consider that stalking?
I better do my english homework tomorrow. Film Noir. What is the use of it and how and why was it used in Finding Forrester?

I wish Adam would help me...someone find me an emo boy. Oh he was talking about emos on the bus too. I heard everything...and he sat on Brenda or whatever her name is's boyfrien's lap and yeah it was kinda hot...I'm so vain in my brain right now. You dont want to know what its all about.

I'm out. I need sleep and a pillow to cure my neck pains.
Out.